Titanium Promises

Fourteen

Halfway through the ride, I find a way to open up, talking about what it was like as a kid living alone with my dad. I even end up telling Luke about Silvia.

"How long have they been together?" Luke asks, adjusting the way he's holding my hand. He rubs his finger along my knuckles and I can feel my heartbeat quicken. Luke's thumb hovers over a spot on my wrist, and I quickly realize he can feel my eager pulse.

"Six months," I say, "coming up on the seventh. I actually really like Silvia. She was the one who bought me my first pride flag. Before that, I only had inconspicuous rainbow items that were scattered around my room."

"A friend of mine bought me a rainbow heart earring, and during June, I thought, 'Fuck it. Who's gonna notice?' For a split second I must have forgotten I lived with a family that has perfected the art of picking up the smallest details. I'm just glad Mav was the first to notice. He pointed it out and I immediately ripped out the earring and hid it underneath my bed."

"Did you ever... come out to Maverick?"

"No. After my dad kicked me out, it was kind of a given to everyone else."

"I still don't understand why your dad would kick you out if you were the best in the entire organization. Is being gay that bad of an 'offense'?"

"Like I said, very macho."

"Fuck them."

Luke furrows his eyebrows and stares at me. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," I say, filling my voice with false confidence. "You deserve to be comfortable in your sexuality, you deserve to be happy. You're fucking amazing, Luke, don't let anyone tell you any different."

"I feel like I should be the one giving this pep talk."

I manage a smile.

I first realized I was gay when everyone in my middle school was talking about how hot this one girl was. Her name was Julie, I remember. She had long, blonde hair that she always wore in a ponytail, and always wore skirts that barely covered her curves. One day in eighth grade, she told me she had a crush on me and that she'd liked me ever since the beginning of sixth grade. After she admitted it, I just stood there and stared at her. I didn't like this girl. I didn't like any girl, no matter how hot people viewed her as.

Luckily, Julie was incredibly understanding, and she told me a family member of hers was bi. It was the guys who scolded me for being such a dumbass and not going after her. All I said was that I already had a girlfriend and she went to a different school. They dropped the argument after that.

Luke pulls onto a dirt road and into a 'parking spot' that's more a cleared out area of ground. I step out of the car, immediately taking Luke's hand after he locks the car. He looks down at me and smiles sweetly. All I want to do is kiss him, so I do and draw the attention of a mom who's walking with her son. I quickly pull away and feel myself blush.

"Let's go," Luke says, leading me towards a narrow path, surrounded by plants covered in red berries. Tall pine trees tower over the path, the sun peaking through the pine needles and creating beautiful patterns of light on the ground. I take out my phone and snap a photo of the trees, careful to get an angle that captures the sun rays.

"You're into photography, too?" Luke asks, looking at my phone from over my shoulder.

"No," I say, "it's just an inspo pic for my paintings." I look at him and smile. "Maybe you could paint with me sometime. I can give you tips and you can admire my beautiful masterpieces."

"I'd love that."

We keep walking, and I keep taking quality photos to the best of my ability. I wish I was a better photographer so when I see a beautiful moment I can capture it well enough to actually paint it. Most of the time I have to look images up on Google, and everything always looks staged. I like painting things I see through my own eyes.