Titanium Promises

Twenty-two

Tw: sexual abuse/implied self-harm

The smell of syrup stirs me awake from a dreamless state. I blink as my eyes adjust, and take in the surroundings of the room. Cold air tickles at my bare back, wrapping around my abdomen as I sit up.

I rub my eyes and let out a sigh as I stumble out of bed and leave the room.

I really didn't think I would find the kitchen as fast as I did, but I find it just down the hall from the deer-themed living room. Indie music pours out from the kitchen as I look through the doorway. Luke stands in front of a stove, slightly swaying with the music, as he tends to a few pancakes cooking in a pan.

"Good morning," he says, not turning around.

"Morning," I reply, a yawn escaping my lips. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not very long," he says, though I don't believe him. "I wanted to watch the sunset."

"What time is it?"

"Nine-ish." He places three pancakes on a plate and hands it to me. "I was thinking we could eat outside if that's all right with you?"

I nod. "The balcony?"

"Sure."

I kiss him on the cheek before returning to my—our room. I step over discarded clothes before approaching the glass doors leading out to the balcony. As I crack them open, the frost from outside washes over me. I quickly place my plate on the table before running inside and throwing a blanket over my shoulders. I take a deep inhale, breathing in the smell of Luke. It warms my chest as I step back out onto the balcony.

Instead of sitting down, I walk towards the balcony railing, running my hand along the smooth wood, wetted by morning fog. Before overthinking it, I climb onto the railing, stopping midway to make sure it's sturdy enough to hold me. The beam is wide enough for me to sit on without feeling unsteady, so I swing both my legs out onto the other side.

I stare out over the property. Something moves in the trees near the road, and I spot three deer step out onto the grass. One doe and two fawns, who playfully skip away from their mother.

I smile.

Up here, it feels like I'm flying. I close my eyes, keeping my focus on the light breeze tickling my face. I take a deep breath, sighing it all out in a way that forms a cloud.

"Reid?" Luke says from behind me.

He snaps me back to reality, but I keep my eyes forward.

"Everything okay?" he asks, softer this time.

"Mhm." It comes out with another exhale.

I'm not sure if he believes me or not, since he appears next to me and hops up onto the railing next to me. I finally look at him, and his blue eyes face forward. His hair that's no longer held together by gel sways slightly with the breeze.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask, quieting my voice to not disturb the silence.

"Of course." His eyes guide onto me, his face serious.

"When did you know you liked guys?"

He lets out a breath. "That's a difficult story."

I lean my head on his shoulder. "You don't have to answer."

He pauses. "I want to.

"My family had a way of planning out the lives of everyone involved with their business," he starts. "I was no exception. I was basically already arranged to marry this girl since I was eight."