Titanium Promises

Fifteen

At first I was confused about my sexuality. There were all these labels with all these definitions, and it felt easiest to just say I was gay because that's what I was. I was gay, I only liked guys. Right? It was so confusing, and I don't even know if I've figured out everything by now. The only thing that matters right now is that I like Luke.

Though the word 'like' doesn't seem strong enough.

"What's on your mind?" Luke asks, distracting me.

I turn away from all the colored paper I was looking at and see him fumbling with the pile of canvases he's trying to carry. I insisted on buying all of them, along with multiple boxes of acrylic paints, and I'm starting to regret it. I have to jerk forward and catch the bag of paint brushes before they clatter to the ground. Luke laughs, embarrassed.

"I'm just excited to paint with you," I admit, taking a few supplies from his load. "Are you as excited as I am?"

"So far I'm struggling to carry the thousands of supplies you say we need." He adjusts the pile for the second time and looks at me. "Are you sure we need all of this?"

"Yes. And you're the one who said we didn't need a cart."

I grab a bag of chocolate candies and a pack of gum on our way to check out, and can't help but think of my dad as I do. He always said the people in the store put candy in the path towards the cashier because you're forced to wait there, and you can't help but look at all the sweets.

"We still don't need a cart," Luke says, not meaning it. "I got this." Just as the words slip out of his mouth, a canvas tumbled out of his grip. I roll my eyes and pick it up.

He continues struggling to carry everything before he drops all of it on the checkout counter. The man behind the cashier seems surprised at the amount of art supplies just placed in front of him.

"Big plans, eh?" he says, beginning to scan the items. I watch the price rise with every beep of the scanner.

"Sure thing," I say. "There's lots of greenery around here this time of year. Why not paint it?" Luke gives me a look when I start talking like a 'Massachusetts born.' I'm sure he'll make fun of me for it later.

"Very true," the cashier says. He looks at Luke and notices his Harvard sweater. "Wow, enrolled at Harvard?" he asks, smiling. "Impressive."

Luke smiles and loops his arm around my shoulders, the unexpected weight nearly making me fall.

"Yep. A freshman," Luke says, happy to play along. "My boyfriend and I are planning on a relaxing weekend after a stressful week at such a busy school."

"That sounds like a great idea," the man says, not phased by Luke's words as he continues scanning.

I couldn't be more phased. Luke said it. He's my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now.

I practically collapse in Luke's arms, and he quickly supports my weight so the cashier doesn't notice. I look Luke in the eyes and all I can do is put on a stupid smile. He glances down at me and his cheeks redden. He knows what he did.

"You're all set," the cashier says after a moment of scanning. He hands us our bags, and I still can't find the strength to walk normally. "Enjoy your weekend."

"Thank you," Luke says, struggling to keep me up.

Luke basically has to haul me out of the store and back to the car. My legs just can't find the ability to move. They feel as heavy as rocks one moment, then like jelly the next. It's only until we're in the car that I manage to move. The first thing I do when Luke closes his door is grab the front of his shirt and kiss him. Hard.