A New Squid in Town

10. The Ugly Truth

What was Squilliam Fancyson doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be dining at his mansion, having a catered meal? Octavius was rather puzzled. "Oh, hey," he said, his tone bewildered. "What brings you here?" "I just wanted to check up on my favorite artistic genius," said the octopus. "Since you were dining with Squidward Q. Tentacles, things were bound to take a turn for the worst." How did Squilliam know who he was dining with?

"What do you mean?" Octavius's confusion only grew. "Haven't you heard?" Squilliam feigned shock. "Bad luck follows that poor cephalopod around like gum stuck to a shoe. I feel truly AWFUL for him. Spending time with him is always a recipe for disaster." He placed his hand to his head, faking feeling faint. "But between you and I, sometimes the poor fellow brings it upon himself. His explosive temper tends to be REALLY off-putting." "I see." Octavius looked a little saddened. Whether or not this was true, he didn't know for sure. But why would Squilliam make something random up about Squidward? It didn't make sense. Sensing the suspicion in Octavius's expression, Squilliam led him to a restaurant window. "Don't believe me? See for yourself." Inside, through the glass, Squidward was clearly screaming at SpongeBob and Patrick in a hostile manner. The two of them were holding each other, crying noisily. Octavius's expression looked a little saddened. "But..." he began, turning to face Squillam. "They're the ones who gave us lousy service. Anyone in their right mind would be upset in this situation. I was upset, too. That's why I left."

"Oh, please." Squilliam gave Octavius a dismissive wave. "We all know those two can come on too strong, but they do their best. Surely Squiddy could stand to have a little more patience with them, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree," answered Octavius. "He may not be perfect, but his reaction, in my opinion, was justified. Besides, they broke my clarinet, AND shoved food in my face!"

"Everyone in Bikini Bottom knows SpongeBob and Patrick are clumsy," Squilliam replied. "I knew tonight would be no exception."

He...knew? How in the world would he know that tonight would be no exception? Unless...

"Come on, Octavius," said Squillam, reaching for his arm. "I would like to invite you back to my mansion. We could play on our clarinets together, far away from those bumbling, insufferable morons. After all, you only have a few more weeks here in town. Might as well spend them with some quality."

The squid thought back to the night Squilliam had picked him up in his limousine boat. He didn't hear his conversation with Squidward, but it struck him as odd that it took so long for the vehicle to start. Then, he remembered talking to Squidward on the phone when they made the dinner reservations. Squilliam appeared in the living room shortly after. How much had he heard? But the hint that tipped him off the most was this one. How would he know that SpongeBob and Patrick were going to ruin his evening with Squidward?

Octavius pulled away, glaring at his boss. "You did this," he spat. "Excuse me?" Squillam folded his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrow. "You heard me," said Octavius. "YOU'RE the one who set everything up so you could make Squidward look like a jerk!" He placed his hands on his hips, standing up for himself. "Well, I've got news for you, Squillam Fancyson," he went on. "Squidward's my friend. And as for my job as YOUR freelance painter, I QUIT!"

"You can't quit," Squilliam insisted. "I'm paying you handsomely. That peasant couldn't dream of doing that for you with his lousy job as a cashier." Octavius shoved his boss aside as he brushed past him. "You can keep your money," he snapped. He looked him directly into the eyes. "Guess what, Squilliam. Just because you have wealth, fortune, or a nice mansion, that doesn't make you better than any of the rest of us. Now, I may not know what happened between you and Squidward in the past, but you've lost a really amazing friend. And honestly, he deserves way better than you. And now you've lost me, too." For the first time, Squilliam's scorn turned to an expression of genuine concern. Octavius brushed past, storming off, away from Squilliam.

The cephalopod entered the restaurant, searching for Squidward. He checked the private dining area, tables out in the open, and even the bathroom. He was nowhere to be found. Sighing,
Octavius exited the restaurant. With a saddened look on his face, the squid's posture was slumped over as he headed for home.