A New Squid in Town

4. Annoyance at the Abode

The following week passed by. Squidward dealt with a rather large percentage of rude customers at work, par the course for him. He received several complaints about missing ingredients in their Krabby Patties, which he explained wasn't his fault. After all, he was a cashier. However, he didn't let it get to him. Sunday had finally arrived, and he was ready to enjoy his off-day to the fullest extent he could.

Squidward woke up early, climbing out of bed and stretching his arms as he yawned. He changed from his nightclothes into his typical brown shirt and brewed himself a cup of coffee. The octopus headed downstairs into his living room and began vacuuming the floor, getting ready for Octavius to visit in a couple of hours. "Nothing's about to ruin my good mood today," he said quietly to himself as he cleaned. "Not even-"

"SPONGEBOB!" Right on queue, the yellow sea sponge appeared, peeking in through one of Squidward's living room windows. He opened it and gave his neighbor a large, toothy grin. "Hi, Squidward!" he began, his tone obnoxiously preppy. Squidward sighed loudly and placed his vacant hand on his hip. "What could you possibly want from me this time?" he groaned. "I was wondering if we could borrow your toilet plunger," said SpongeBob. "Patrick's toilet is backed up again, but he broke his." "NO, you can't borrow my toilet plunger!" Squidward's temperament changed at once, his eyes filling with anger. "That isn't MY problem, SpongeBob!" "Aww, that's okay, best bud," said SpongeBob with a shrug. "Your clarinet was more effective, anyway."

"WHAT?!"

"See ya, Squidward!" SpongeBob disappeared at once. His fists balled up, Squidward angrily opened one of the windows and looked outside, but the sea sponge was gone. He slammed it shut and stormed off, dragging the vacuum cleaner with him. "Don't let it get under your skin, Squiddy," he said to himself, taking a deep breath. Once he was through vacuuming, he decided to bake some homemade cookies, mixing the dough before placing the batch in the oven. About half an hour later, the cookies were ready to be served. Much to his dismay, he suddenly witnessed a pink starfish in his kitchen, munching away on his cookies. Squidward grabbed the tray out of Patrick's hands immediately, beginning to sweat profusely. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" demanded the mollusk, his hands trembling. "THOSE WERE FOR MY GUEST!"

"Oh, sorry," Patrick replied with a shrug. "I got hungry again." "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Squidward yelled, his nasally voice filling the water. SpongeBob was lingering nearby, and he infiltrated the octopuses' house once again. He noticed everything that'd happened, and he shook his head as he entered the kitchen to join them. The sea sponge shook his finger at his companion. "Patrick! You know better than to eat someone else's homemade cookies!" He placed a hand on Squidward's shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry, Squidward," he tried. "We'll make you and your guest a fresh batch of cookies in no time!"

Although Squidward was irritated at first, he finally hit a point of apathy with these two. They wouldn't leave him alone no matter what approach he took. "Whatever," he mumbled. "Just have them done before 5:00. I'll be in my room. But most importantly, when they're done, I want you two out of my house and out of sight for the rest of the evening!" "You got it, Mr. Squidward!" SpongeBob nodded politely and dug through Squidward's kitchen cabinets, pulling out a bowl so he could mix some fresh cookie dough.

The octopus meandered upstairs and sat down on his bed, reading through a book on smooth jazz while he waited. Meanwhile, the two pals in the kitchen where goofing off. "Hey!" exclaimed Patrick, tapping SpongeBob on the shoulder. "Look at my new hat! Isn't it great?" He had a pasta strainer on his head and he chuckled in a laid-back manner. "Bahahahaha!" SpongeBob continued to stir up the cookie dough, but he laughed at Patrick's silly display. "You're so funny, Patrick!" The sea sponge placed the cookie dough onto a tray and placed it in the oven. SpongeBob picked up a cardboard box that was laying on the counter and he placed it on his head, dumping all of its contents onto the floor. Forks, knives and spoons fell to the ground. "Check it out, Patrick!" exclaimed the sea sponge. "I'm a race car driver!" He started to make obnoxious sounds and his buddy followed suit. "Ooh! I wanna be a race car driver too!" The two of them got carried away in their make-believe world, forgetting all about the cookies. Pretty soon, almost an hour had passed.

Without him realizing it, part of SpongeBob's cardboard hat fell apart and landed near the stove, which quickly caught fire. The scent filled the air and the sea sponge gasped, turning around instantly. Patrick was oblivious as he continued to make car noises. "Patrick!" he exclaimed, shaking his friend. "Oh, no! This is terrible! We need to do something! Quick!" "Don't worry, SpongeBob! I got this!" the starfish grabbed SpongeBob's cardboard hat and threw it vigorously at the flames, but this only caused it to become worse as the flames combusted.

Squidward rushed downstairs at a rapid pace, panting heavily as he ran into the kitchen. His eyes widened with concern. "SPONGEBOB!" he screamed, quickly grabbing a fire extinguisher from the wall. "WHAT THE SHELL HAVE YOU DUNDERHEADS DONE TO MY KITCHEN?!" While he put out the fire, he inconveniently got a knock on the door.

Octavius arrived at last, his eyes wide with disbelief. Through the window, he witnessed Squidward putting out a fire in his kitchen, a burnt tray of cookies on the countertop, and SpongeBob and Patrick looking as unintelligible as ever. Octavius opened the door and rubbed the back of his neck as he inquired, "Is this a bad time?"