A New Squid in Town

1. Another Day, Another Migraine

In the middle of the vibrant blue ocean, within the depths of Bikini Bottom, on 122 Conch Street, there rested a Moai-like building. Inside, slumbering peacefully upstairs in his bed was a teal-colored octopus named Squidward Q. Tentacles. He snored lightly for a few minutes before his alarm would sound, leading to his eyes shooting open at once. Quickly after the occurrence, he slammed it with his tentacle hand. "Nope," he muttered quietly, rolling over onto his side. "No work today." Longing for a few extra minutes of sleep, he rested his hands underneath his head and curled up, a smile spreading across his countenance as he dozed off again.

Unfortunately, his serenity was quickly interrupted by a familiar, high-pitched, overly-zealous voice. Oh, no. His annoying neighbor had come to harass him yet again. SpongeBob's excited tone rung loudly through the house as he entered the facility, feeling as though someone was running their nails on a chalkboard. "Hey, Squidward!" the yellow sponge squealed happily, appearing conveniently next to the octopus's bed. Squidward's eyes shot open at once as he witnessed the horrific sight. "SPONGEBOB!" he shouted, his prior tone escalating into intense anger. "What do you think you're doing in my house?!" The teal sea creature hopped out of bed and glared at the yellow sponge.

"Bahahahahaha!" the sponge clutched at his sides, both optimistic and completely unaware of Squidward's rage. "Silly Squidward! Don't you know what today is?"

Squidward's irritation only grew, his head steaming with his temperament. "What could possibly be SO special about today that you blatantly trespassed onto my property and broke into my house?!" he demanded. SpongeBob wandered over toward one of the rounded windows and opened it with great enthusiasm. Standing in the sand below stood a heavy-set, pink starfish known as Patrick Star. He was holding a net outwards. SpongeBob pulled a matching net out of hammerspace and tittered giddily. "Bahahahaha. Today is National Jellyfish with your Best Buddy Day!"

Squidward blinked a couple of times, his expression flat. "Then shouldn't you and Patrick be out jellyfishing?" he inquired, his voice monotone. SpongeBob's eyes widened with excitement as he leaned forward and squeezed the mollusk's cheek in an affectionate manner. "Well, that's the thing, Squidward," said the sea sponge. "Patrick might be my best buddy, but YOU'RE my best buddy, too! So, I wanted to invite you to come jellyfishing with us!"

"Great idea," muttered Squidward, while simultaneously making his bed in a graceful manner. "Maybe I'll get electrocuted and won't remember you. Sounds like a real swell time." SpongeBob's irises filled with optimism and he pushed his nose directly into Squidward's face with no regard for personal space. "Really?" he asked, batting his eyelashes and trying to look cute. "Does that mean you'll join us, Squidward?"

SpongeBob wrapped his arms around Squidward in a tender hug, closing his eyes as he embraced his neighbor. This was the last straw for Mr. Tentacles as he began to shake with anger. "NO!" He shouted. He kicked the clingy sea sponge out with the window with great vigor, shattering a hole through the glass. This caused SpongeBob to topple over Patrick, the two of them bonking their heads together. A moment later, the sea sponge stood up and dusted off his clothes. He waved towards Squidward, a large, happy-go-lucky smile plastered upon his face, seeming as though nothing had happened. "The offer's always open if you want to join us!" Still enraged, Squidward slammed his damaged window shut and stormed off further inside his house. In the distance, he heard: "Bye, best buddy! I hope you have a great day!"

The teal-colored octopus' posture was slumped over as he trudged down his staircase. Bags had formed under his eyes and a miserable look was plastered upon his countenance. "What does a guy have to do to get a break in this town of uncultured, half-witted lunatics?" With a defeated sigh, once he got ready for the day, the mollusk headed outside, riding his bright red recumbent bicycle. He leaned back and pedaled to a cozy little café, making sure its location was in the opposite direction of SpongeBob and Patrick's destination.

As he rode his bike, thoughts spiraled through his mind. The first one was that he should file a restraining order on those two nuisances, but he remembered how poorly that went the first time he tried it. The second thought was he should just move away entirely, but once again, it was yet another plan he'd attempted, but it had futile results. Finally, he thought about what a silly little occasion today was. 'National Jellyfish with your Best Buddy Day.' It sounded so ridiculous. But at the time time, it made him realize something. Although the idea of jellyfishing wasn't appealing to him at all, he didn't exactly have a "best buddy" to celebrate it with, anyway. Squidward had spent so much time alone, he'd grown used to it in his bitter state. He...had no friends.