I clenched the vial of dust, tempted by the same escape that drew me to the beach weeks ago. It’s not too late, I thought.
But it was too late. I had become one of them. Tinkerbell, Tiger Lily, Reuben, Glen, even Hook - all of them had made me fall in love with this adventurous place. Sure, I could leave all the complications and go back to… what?
I couldn’t even remember what I’d left behind.
And Pan… oh, Pan…
“You have feelings for him,” Tinkerbell had said.
I’d denied it; “No, of course not!” But… what if I just entertained the idea…?
“Yes, I care about you…” The Echo Caves trembled in my memory.
Maybe… I closed my eyes, attempting to dig deep, begging for a revelation.
Neverland’s funny, though. You could stare at what’s right in front of you, and it would still find a way to hide the truth.
“Leona…”
The voice behind me sounded so timid, as though begging permission. I didn’t say a word of acknowledgement.
Pan stepped past the forest’s edge, joining me in the clearing where I sat before a fire. This same area was where I’d experienced my first “dinner” on Neverland and, coincidentally, wasn’t far from where he and I had sat in these same small morning hours after dreams had tormented us. Both awake, we’d connected for the first time there.
Things are so different now, I thought.
It was the night after I had stumbled upon Pan and Felix's conversation. I hadn’t spoken to either of them since. Too much hurt and misunderstanding… and I didn't know how to approach Peter.
“If you want me to leave, I will.”
I said nothing. He, in turn, started to walk away.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
Hopeful eyes turned to the back of my head, grasping the small opportunity. “I said some things I didn’t mean. I came to apologize.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“Call it a hunch.”
I snickered. Sure. Probably more spies. Despite my resolution to give him the benefit of the doubt, I couldn’t overcome my hurt so easily.
He must have noticed my distrust, because he made another motion to turn away, but I glanced toward the space on the log beside me. “Sit down for a while,” I whispered. “You look lost to me.”
Catching my sentimental reference, he smiled. “Isn’t that my line?”
“I think I've earned the right to borrow it,” I replied as he sat down.
"Yes, you have," Pan replied. He then went as silent as a hiker scared to startle a bird. I finally realized that I would have to make the first move.
“I know you didn’t kill Smee.”
He tried to conceal a soft sigh. “How?”
“You have your ways; I have mine.” Smiling at his curious expression, I added, “I overheard you and Felix talking last night.”
“Ah,” he said simply. No gloating, no snarky comments, just… “ah.”
Well… might as well clear up the other half, I thought.
“And I… I didn’t tell Hook.”
“I know,” he replied. “I knew the second you said it, I just… got swept up in the moment.”
Regret gripped my heart. How selfish could I have come across for him to apologize for something he said in grief? “Anyone would. I did too.” I grabbed his leather-wrapped wrist and caressed the portion of his palm my hand touched.
His voice that usually held out so strongly cracked with his next words. “That doesn’t change anything. Those damned old habits… but they’re no excuse. I- I wronged you.”
“Yes, you did.” I paused to gather myself before my next words. I do care about him… but I don’t deserve this kind of behavior. “You asked back at the camp if I trusted you. Now I ask you… do you trust me, lost boy?”
Peter pulled his hand away from mine and ran his fingers through his messy, perfect brunette hair. “I’ve only ever hurt anyone I’ve gotten close to. First Tinkerbell… now you… It’s not that I don’t trust you.” I placed one gentle hand on his cheek and caressed it with my thumb. “It’s that I don’t trust myself," he continued with tears in his eyes. "Not really.”
Tinkerbell did actually mean something to him, I realized. “What happened?”
He shook his head and pulled his hand away from my imploring eyes. “There’s always a side of the story that doesn’t get told. I just ensured that it wouldn’t be mine.” A sad smile faded in and out of his boyish face.
That’s not an answer… I finally accepted that maybe I would never know.
“Didn’t she warn you to stay away from me?” Pan asked, referring to his former right-hand fairy.
“Yes, she did,” I answered. “Guess I haven’t found it in me to do so.”
Pan gently placed both hands on either side of my face. I nestled into his caress, unable to ignore how right it felt. No more games… no more acts…
“Please don’t find it yet. At least, not over this. I’m sorry, Leona… for everything.”
I accepted Peter Pan’s apology.
He pressed his forehead to mine, and, for a moment, the entire island fell away. We were just a boy and a girl, lost in the chaos of growing up, taking in each other’s existence.
Finally, Pan whispered one more assurance. “By the way… that kiss did mean something.”
Those coveted words tickled my ear and seeped straight through to my soul. I looked up into his glistening, gold-flecked eyes…
“It was my first kiss too,” Peter Pan said. “Of course it meant something. I’ve wanted that with you since the first day I saw you.”
How far we’ve come since then…
Pan’s hold slowly shifted to a slight upward pressure, raising my chin. Mere inches away, his lips’ warm breath beckoned mine forward. This moment felt so real… I craved it with him like a moth craves a flame…
“PAN!” Two small boys burst through the woods, screaming. “We tried to stop him, Pan!”
“Who?!”
As though on cue, Felix burst through the clearing with an army of Lost Boys behind him. Their torchlight and confrontational expressions tore apart any existing serenity in our souls’ confrontation.
“Tell her the truth, Pan!” the commander exclaimed. “Enough with the lies. Tell her you mean to kill her.”
YOU ARE READING
Lost Girl || Complete
Fantasy"We've all heard the story of Peter Pan. The carefree hero, sworn enemy of pirates, defender of the innocent. Well, they didn't get it quite right... He's nothing like that. And I should know; I met him." ~~~ Based on OUAT's take on the classic cha...
