Lost Girl || Complete

Chapter 38: Straight On Till Morning (Waking Up)

    I later found Tinkerbell just outside the camp. She had lingered, watching the Lost Boys as they trained and teased each other. Joining her solitude, I observed for a moment as well, dreading the goodbyes I might have to say.

    "I was wrong, you know," she said, finally breaking the silence.

    "About what?"

    "Pan. He does care for you. I've never seen that from him before."

    It seemed as good a time as ever to ask, "What did he say to you?"

    Tink smiled and reminisced over something I would never understand. "He said you were in trouble."

    That doesn't make sense.

    "He used to care about everything like that," she continued. "Besides, Pan has always been... convincing. I wouldn't have cared to heed him this time except that, for once, his actions were for the good of Neverland. I can stand by that."

    I smiled and nodded. We watched the boys for a few more moments before the silence broke again.

    "I talked to Hook yesterday," I said, glancing at Tink's subtle smile.

    "Was he sober enough to say anything worthwhile?" she asked coyly.

    "He said you were a good kisser."

    Reading my mischievous expression, the fairy blushed in embarrassment. "He told you?"

    "Never directly," I admitted, "But he did say you 'possessed quite the set of lips'."

    Tink laughed, partially to distract from the red glow flooding her cheeks.

    "I just don't understand..." I added, remorsefully. "Everyone washed their hands of your fate. How can you be so okay with that?"

    "I'm not exactly," Tink replied calmly. Looking around at the boys teasing a boy dressed as a pirate, a hint of a smile crept up on her lips. "We've always known each of the others can take care of themselves - Pan, Hook, and I. No one risks their own skin. It's just the way we are."

    Just when I thought I'd gotten a handle on this island...

    Maybe I'll never completely understand how things work on Neverland, I thought.

    "What will you do now?" I asked.

    The fairy shrugged and started for the forest. "Probably hide some more. But I won't stay away for so long this time. Things are changing in Neverland... and it's all thanks to you." Bowing in a small curtsey, Tink waved. "I'll miss you, Leona. It was good having a friend."

    "Who said I was going anywhere?"

    She smiled at my attempt at playfulness. "I'm a lot older than I look. I know the face of someone who misses home."

~~~

    The boys waved goodbye to me, knowing more than I about what was to happen next. I suspected - but never let myself admit - that they would continue their day, remaining young and reckless, without me.

    Little Reuben ran up and wrapped his little arms around my leg. After soaking in the embrace, he held up a tiny fist. "I made this for you. Don't forget us, okay?"

    Taking the gift, I assured him that I could never. What I saw in my hand, though, pushed me over the edge of emotion that I told myself I wouldn't cross. There on the hazel scrap cloth, sewn in messy stitches, were three words: "Glen says hi."

    Tears streamed down my face. "Thank you, Reuben." Happy and oblivious, the boy ran to rejoin his older brothers. I doubt he ever realized the weight of the gift nor why I kept it for the rest of my life; he just wanted me to remember.

~~~

    Pan waited for me on the beach, the shimmering sunset illuminating the gold flecks in his eyes. That green faded vest, those brown leather cuffs, that ever-tousled brown hair... He looked so strong, standing tall with his shoulders back, yet warm and welcoming. "You ready?"

    I shook my head. "I've decided to stay."

    The boy smiled softly. "Leona..."

    "I love this place," I said through tears.

    "And this place loves you." Pan wrapped his strong arms around me, burying his face into my curly hair. I sobbed, leaving tear stains on his green vest, but he didn't care. "You deserve to see life, Leona. I'm so glad that Neverland - that I - could be a part of that for a while. But now it's time for your next adventure."

    He searched for my eyes, but I avoided his loving gaze. It's too hard... Ignoring my efforts, the Lost Boy kneeled and looked up into my brown, tear-filled eyes. I found that, despite his smile, his eyes glistened as well.

    "Growing up is a splendid adventure, Leona."

    "Then why don't you come back with me?"

    Pan shook his head. "It's not my adventure to have." He gazed at the crystal sea, holding me in the light of the endless horizon. "You've changed me for the better - taught me to be vulnerable as I lead. To be human. Now, I have to be human for the Lost Boys. They still need me."

    I thought of the time I accused him of not actually caring for them. "They're my responsibility," he'd informed me. He and I both could list every one of their names...

    "Besides," he added, "there are still pirates to chase. Mermaids to torture. Neverland now has years to be vicious again, and I've got to remain viscous with it. But I won't neglect my human side... nor those of the boys."

    To him, that was a thorough enough explanation. My heart still hurt, though.

    "Will I ever see you again?"

    Peter cupped my tear-streaked face and gently kissed my lips. He felt like passion and danger and freedom. The saltwater breeze tussled my hair and beckoned me home.

    His lips parted from mine, and, holding my face steadily, spoke these words. "Know this, Leona. As long as you believe in me, we are connected. Promise me, even if you grow old, you will never forget me."

    "I promise."

    Sighing, Pan pressed his forehead to mine. "Then I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms."