I woke up, my head pounding. Me throwing up my food wasn't all too good yesterday.. I decided to get up and get dressed.
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Billie knocked on my door so I yelled „come in". She did as told and stepped in my room with a big smile. „Good Morning- uuuhhhh you look good" she smiled
„Stoooooooooopppppppp, thank u.." i told her. „Shall we go somewhere today?" she asked me. I hesitated a little before i asked to where we would go. „Hmm i don't know, maybe the beach??"
Uhhh my stomach twisted. I can't let her see my body like that, she shouldn't. „No you don't have to wear a bikini, but just chill and vibe a little? Or maybe even taking instagram pictures?" she said.
I rolled my eyes jokingly but gave in. „Let's goooo" she said hyped. „Okay okay" i laughed. We went into the car and drove.
On the way we stopped by taco bell and got some burritos. After that we drove to the beach and sat down. We talked and laughed for a while when we decided to take some pictures.
kira.oconnell
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liked by billieeilish, finneas and 12,000 others... kira.oconnell breathe
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after our little photoshoot we went back home and watched movies all night. billie went to bed while i laid down, thoughts racing again. i should do it again
I tried my best to push the thoughts of hurting myself away but they got louder and louder. Maybe I should talk to Billie, since she told me i can come to her if i need her.
But she'll probably be disappointed in me and send me back to the adoption center, which wouldn't be surprising.
I put the blade away and instead walked in the hallway down to Billie's room. For some moments i hesitate, but I knew i had to talk to her or I will do something i shouldn't do.
Just when I wanted to knock, Billie opened the door being a little suprised about why i stood there in the middle of the night. She didn't hear you, she only wanted to go grab some water, but you were glad she stood in front of you right now.
„Oh hey, everything okay?" she asked kindly. I shook my head in response, telling her I'm definitely far away from okay. „Oh no, what's up?" she asked me very worried. I tried talking but nothing came out.
Billie quickly noticed and just lead me to her room. I started breathing heavily. I knew she'll do it aswell, i knew i should've never start to trust her, she'll do it just like all the other houses i was in.
I couldn't see properly due to my teary eyes. Billie laid me on the bed which freaked me out so I backed away. „Shush it's okay Kira, it's just me, follow my breathing okay?" she whispered
I couldn't. I knew as soon as i would calm down she would try and hurt me and want me to do „something". The thought of my past so called ‚homes' and now billie putting me on her bed, freaked me out.
I screamed that she should go away, i was scared and crying. Billie ignored it and just held me close. I then started to hit her, trying to get out of her grip, but I couldn't, she was holding me.
Billie's pov She continued to hit and punch me but I didn't care, i was just holding her. I knew that this wasn't very easy for both of us, but i knew that else she won't calm down.
After a while of getting kicked by her she eventually gave in and broke down crying. I was still holding her close to me, not letting go. Softly I rubbed her back assuring her that it's alright.
I decided to not talk about it with her for tonight because it will probably turn out like that again. I don't fully know what happened in her past but this showed that it's been a tough time for her.
She then fell asleep in my arms and soon the sleep to over me aswell...
A/N literally wrote that chapter while driving home cus this bitch right here is skipping school lol.
