Billie showed me the whole house. She showed me my room and it's very beautiful.
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Billie knew that I absolutely was into plants, i told her when we were talking at the adoption center.
I looked up at her since she's bigger than me and smiled „thank u" i whispered. That's probably the most beautiful room that i have ever gotten. I was more than thankful for Billie giving me this room.
„No problem love. Remember, If you want to change anything or you want to redecorate it, just tell me and we will go to the mall. Oh and speaking of the mall, we're still going tomorrow okay?" she asked
I nodded even tho i don't want her to spend money on me. But I knew I that even if I'd say no she would literally drag me there.
„U hungry?" bil asked. Oh shit. How do I tell her I haven't properly eaten in weeks? „Uhm no not right now but thank u" i told her. „Are you sure?" and I nodded.
„Alright well i will let you come down a little to settle in. When you feel ready, you can come downstairs if you want or i don't know.. do whatever you'd like alright?" she said. I nodded a yes and billie turned around ready to leave but i stopped her
„uhm actually- billie?" i said. „Mhmm?". There were some seconds of silence until i continued. „Uh.. i- I'm scared to eat" i whispered. Billie's face softened and she walked up to me.
She gave me a long hug, and for the first time i didn't felt hated by everyone. I felt loved and cared about. Billie whispered some sweet nothings to calm me down. By now there were tears running down my cheeks.
I sniffled a little just for Billie to hug me tighter. „It's okay love. You're doing okay. Thank you for telling me. That's a very big first step, you can be proud of yourself. We're going to make it alright. You're not alone with that and I'll help you with all i can" she assured me.
Billie's pov I could feel that she's not okay. And now that I'm her mom, i need to help her. Just when another sob came from her, i saw her sleeve of her hoodie slip a little down. Cuts were appearing making my stomach twist 1000 times and my heart drop.
I don't want her to feel the way I did. With my fingers i carefully grabbed her wrist with the cuts on it, and stroke it softly. When she noticed that I saw it, her eyes grew wide and she gasped for air.
Fast i took out my inhaler because i knew she will get a panic attack. Her breathing was unsteady so I held her hand to my chest and told her to follow my breathing. I held the inhaler on her mouth and let her take some deep breaths.
When I felt her breathing setting down, i lifted her up and laid her on her bed. Her eyes soon closed from exhaustion, which i could understand. I put a blanket on her and let her fall asleep.
