Classroom Of The Elite x Oc

Chapter: 30

Alex's Pov

After winning the chess game against Class A Hashimoto started praising me and saying I am really smart, no doubt trying to get on my good side in case I become someone he needs to get into contact with. I just ignored him and left, instead of going back to class to celebrate I just silently walked back to my dorm room. I saw Ayanokoji and Arisu walking to the library to play chess, good for them.

As I walked back to my room I couldn't help but think about how despite all I have thought about this new world there is still some kind of disconnect, deep down all of these people are all still characters to me in some sense.

I might see them as people, but at the same time I know many of them more than anyone else, and I use that to get what I need. This is keeping me from making real meaningful connections with people here, don't get me wrong, I still think of my friends as real friends, but something is just off.

For instance I am not developing any romantic feelings for Sae or Fuka, maybe it is my own guilt since I know I am using them to such an extent, but I definitely do not have a single drop of love towards them. Even if I enjoy our time together and like them being truthful I feel like loving them would be impossible, I wonder if this is the fate of people transported to anime and light novel stories? I am sure some people do not think about it and can fall in love with almost anyone, but I hope I am not alone in my feelings of being alone even though I am surrounded by people.

Once I got back to my room I realized I should be happy but am instead sadder then I have been since I got here, geez I am too weird.

When I checked my phone I saw a bunch of messages from my classmates, even Horikita messaged me saying good job.

When I checked my second phone I saw a good job message from Sae as well, I can't help but feel guilty for using my knowledge of this world to manipulate and influence so many people. I kind of wish I had Ayanokoji's lack of emotions right now, I wonder if he feels genuinely bad for using and abusing people?

I could ask him but expecting a genuine response from him would be foolish to hope for.

To spite it still being the midafternoon I went to bed and slept until the next morning, perhaps my guilt up until now had gotten too much to carry and I needed to rest extra because of that.

When I woke up I realized that Class Points had changed again, quickly calculating the numbers I came to the new standings.

Class A: 1174-100+100-30=1144

Class B: 653-50-100-90=413

Class C: 562-100+100+130=692

Class D: 342- 50-100+190= 382

With this we are now Class B, to be honest I didn't think about this and how this will change the second year drastically, our class will have no reason to interact with Hōsen since we will not be Class D. In some ways this is good since it will change the story and make me less knowledgeable, which is somewhat positive for since I will get to experience a new story.

Something interesting I noticed however is that whenever I make a change to the story it seems to self-correct and head towards the original outcome anyway. For instance there is so much reason as to why that chess game should not have gone the same as it did, or the fact that Ayanokoji is acting almost exactly as the book even though his circumstances are much different.

Thinking about timelines and predeterminism won't get me anywhere though, all I can do is act on what is happening. It seems like the long sleep I got the night before really helped to ease my mind, I am feeling much better about myself and not as guilty.