March 2007
I was hiding in my closet, hoping he wouldn't find me. My mother wasn't home and I didn't know who was home. I got out after ten minutes and screamed when I met his face. He was on my bed. "Tu dormi pe canapea, copii răi dorm pe canapea. Dacă vă văd dormind pe pat, vă voi arde pe amândoi. (You sleep on the couch, bad kids go sleep on the couch. If I see you sleep on the bed, I'll burn both of you)."
I haven't seen Alexei in two full weeks. I knew he was ignoring me. He wouldn't meals with the rest. Wouldn't go on missions with me.
I walked to his office and knocked. "Voydite. (Come in)." I didn't know what it meant and just went inside. When I met with his eyes, they were harsh. When they realized it was me, it went soft. It felt weird.
"I need to go." He said walking past me. "Wait!" I was holding his wrist, my nails digging in his flesh. He didn't say anything and just left. "La naiba (fuck you)." I said.
I stayed in my room the whole day. Tomorrow was the twins birthday and I wasn't going to be there for the first time ever. I was crying when Inessa just jumped in my room. She saw my tears and rushed to my side.
"What's wrong?" I wiped my tears. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" She said with a bit of anger. "You were crying."
"I wasn't feeling well." She patted my head. "I want to show you something." I shook my head, diving in the couches cushions.
"Fine. I'll go get you some water and some food." I thanked her and she exited my room. I think I fell asleep because when I woke up, there was Alexei. I ignored him.
"Ivanov... are you feeling okay?" I walked away from him and went to sit on a small lounging chair. I looked inside my necklace and smiled. "Don't ignore me."
I looked away and then I was lifted up and I was laying on the bed. He had pinned me. I tried to squirm out of his grip and he grabbed my chin, forcing me to face him.
I was clenching my teeth when I whispered. "P-please get me away from the bed." He realized and got off me. I was shaking and he hugged me. "I'm sorry I was ignoring you."
He picked me up, my legs were wrapped around his waist and made us sit on the couch. I let out a sigh. "I want you to be honest with me. Why don't you like beds?" I thought it over and it didn't reveal anything about Matthew and Nikolai.
"I've never slept on a bed. In my childhood, it was the couch. In Canada, I was sleeping on a couch. I guess I am not used to sleeping on a bed."
It was true. I was traumatized by beds. It felt weird said like this and expected to see Alexei mocking me. But when I saw his face. His calm face. He stared at me with a small smile and hugged me tightly.
"I sound so foolish." I pressed my hands to my eyes. He tilted my chin upwards. "You do not. I'll tell you something about me now. I... do not like very much tattoos. Other mafia leaders wear so many and it fells like-"
I smiled at him and he stopped talking. He smiled back and kissed my cheek before leaving. Inessa came in and sat next to me. "Does he ever smile at you? Or tell you private things?"
She frowned. "Nikodga (Never)! The last time he smiled at me was when he was 10. The most private thing he told me was that he hated orange juice!"
I frowned too. "Why? Did he do that to you?"
I looked away, a smile forming on my lips. "No." She gasped and turned my face to hers. "He did!" I giggled and ran downstairs. She followed me, screaming. She was speaking Russian so I didn't understand.
