ઇଓ 𝐏𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 [𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕒]

𝔗𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔪

TW: blood/death

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I've written a lot of these.

Usually I just throw them away or scratch them up so no one can read it. It's the kind of thing that makes people nervous.

Um...

Remember that field trip we went on in middle school? First time you forged ma's signature right. I was so excited.

That time... that was actually the time I fell in love with butterflies.

There was this real pretty one. I looked it up as soon as we got home it's called an Alpine Black Swallowtail. I didn't think it was a very pretty name but it was a gorgeous butterfly.

You should look it up some time.

You'd think I'd know what to write but I don't.

I guess

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for relying on you so much. You're amazing you know that? You're talented and strong and you're going to make a great husband to Ayame.

Or to Rin.

Don't think I don't notice ;)

You're smart. Real smart. Go to college. Do something for yourself please.

And I'm sorry for never helping you when ma did those things. I watched her hurt you and you're right I never lifted a finger. I should have grown up by now but I guess I'm just not brave enough.

When you saw me that night... even though ma's friends still come over... I didn't have to worry as much because you were there. It... it maybe didn't stop things from happening all the time but... when you found me — I don't want to bring up the dark past but you should know — I was upset but also relieved. Like this weight on my chest lightened just enough for me to catch my breath. I didn't think I'd ever want you to find out what I was dealing with but you ended up saving me again.

You're a great big brother Samu.

I'm probably gone by the time you read this so I'll just say it now.

I'm going to jump off.

And when I wake up I promise I'm flying.

I'm flying with the butterflies Samu.

So look for me. When you see a short-tailed blue or a silver-studded blue. A small copper or taraka hamada. I'm there. I swear.

Thanks for looking out for me Samu. I think I'm going to be content when it ends.

And don't come flying for a long while, alright? I want some alone time for at least a few decades :)

I love you, frickin son of a bitch.

I love you Miya Osamu.

You're the best brother anyone could have.

Thank you Samu