The nerd Project 3

Chapter 19: Dorian

Chapter 19

Dorian's pov

Today would have been my girl's birthday.

So it's the perfect day for me to die.

I have it all planned out.

Soon I would be with her again.

I will be rid of this pain once and for all.

I decided to spend some time with my parents telling them how much I appreciate everything they have done for me.

I didn't want them to blame themselves for this.

They did everything they could.

They kept me going this long.

I really did love them, and I hate knowing I was going to hurt them.

We went to dinner and my parents seemed so happy.

This is the last thought I want them to have of me.

For all of us to be happy one last time.

I smiled and pretended that I was finally okay.

They needed this.

When we went home I told them I was going to go out with a few friends.

They seemed beyond happy to hear that.

To them it meant I was better.

I wish I could be the son they deserved.

Too bad they got stuck with a murderer.

They would have been amazing grandparents to my child.

I know what I am doing is going to destroy them.

They will be better off without me.

This world would be better off without me.

I grabbed everything I needed from my room, and left.

I kissed my mom as I left, and told her I loved her.

I thanked my dad for a great birthday then left.

I went to the grave yard.

I was going to join the love of my life, and our child soon.

This is all I ever wanted.

I laid down on their graves, and drunk the poison I had with me.

I had to do it this way so I could feel the pain I put them through.

I deserved a painful death.

After all it was all my fault.

I felt the pain in my body.

It was getting harder to breath.

Death was coming for me.

I welcomed it.

I needed it.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide there is help.

I have been there myself, and thought if I just died this world would be a better place.

Now I have 3 amazing kids that I wouldn't have if I had succeeded at my attempts of suicide.

If you want to talk I am here for you without judgement.

When you dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255), you are calling the crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to your location. After you call, you will hear a message saying you have reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/National Suicide Prevention Lifeline