The nerd Project 3

Chapter 3: Ava

Chapter 3

Ava’s pov

I walked into the classroom, and looked around.

I don’t know why I am even here.

My parents seem to think I am broken, and this nerd project will fix me.

No it only makes me feel worse.

Before my accident they would never send me to something like this.

Now I am nothing.

A failure in everyone’s eyes.

My friends won’t even talk to me anymore.

It’s as if getting fat was a death sentence.

Maybe there will be some kids like me in here.

One by one as the kids came in I felt myself become invisible.

All the girls were thin, and beautiful.

The guys looked like movie stars.

It was clear once again I was in the wrong place.

There was no way I was going to fit in.

I wanted to get up and walk out the door, but that would only bring unwanted attention to myself.

Maybe I could talk to Mrs. Ross about this after classes were over.

Another guy walked in, but he sat at the front of the class.

Was he the teacher’s assistant?

He began talking, and I soon realized he was the teacher.

There was no way I was staying in this program.

How could this guy ever know how the hell I am feeling?

He looks prefect.

I doubt he has ever felt invisible.

I’m sure he has had the perfect life.

I looked around again sighing.

How could my parents do this to me?

Was I going to have to share my story with everyone?

There was no way I could do that.

I looked down at myself.

I was disgusting, fat, and worthless.

I used to have it all.

I was popular, and beyond beautiful with a promising future.

Now all I wanted was to crawl in a whole.

I rubbed at my leg that started to hurt again.

I should be in Mulan right now modeling.

Instead I am behind this desk wishing I could just disappear.

I mean no one would even notice nor would they care.

I should never have been dancing.

I went against my parents, and took that dance class.

It made me happy.

Now because of it I have a busted up leg that will never be the same again.

I will never again dance.

Now with the 60lbs weight gain I will never model again.

My mother just doesn’t get me anymore.

My mother was always a model.

She is thin, and still does modeling to this day.

She can’t get how her daughter got fat.

In her eyes I am broken.

She can’t even stand to look at me.

So she is away for “work”, but I know it’s so she doesn’t have to deal with me.

My father stayed behind because he didn’t want to leave me alone.

He ignores me because I took his beautiful wife away from him.

If my own parents can’t look at me how do I expect anyone else too?

No one will ever love me again.

My boyfriend dumped me for my so called best friend.

He told me he could never love a fata** like me.

I cried for weeks over him.

Then I stuffed my face with more food, and gained more weight.

He’s right though.

I don’t blame him for leaving me.

I blame myself.

If only I didn’t become so ugly he would still be with me.

I looked at all the guys in here.

The old me could have been with any of them that I wanted.

I am not being shallow I just was a famous model.

I was voted most beautiful in teen vogue.

Now I couldn’t even get one of them to look at me in disgust.

The girls in here were all thin, and looked beautiful.

I felt as if I was an outsider looking in.

I’m sure this program has helped a lot of kids, but I didn’t need help.

I wasn’t a bad kid.

I was excellent in school, and got amazing grades.

I just couldn’t be here in school.

Maybe I should just drop out.

That way no one would have to see me.

I know my parents wouldn’t allow that.

Maybe I could run away.

Now that was an idea.

I mean I wouldn’t be missed.

Once school was over today I would be gone.

I just had to get through this day.

pic of Ava included