~The Book of Randomness~

~The Banana's Version of the Book of Randomness~

Perhaps if the sandwich hadn't eaten my pickle, it would have lived. I blame the ladybug, to be honest. Like, what are you doing?! DON'T SQUEEZE MY BEAUTIFUL LADYBUG! I mean, how would YOU feel if I grabbed your wife and squished her to death? IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE! I REPEAT, IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!!! Understand? No? Oh, whatever. I give up.

The wheels on the bus go up and down! Up and down! LEFT AND RIGHT! The train on its wheels goes SIDE TO SIDE! All through America~

Let me tell you a story. There was once a young poodle by the name of Bobette (name has been changed for... personal reasons), and she KINDA, MAYBE, DIDN'T LIKE ME. WELL, I DIDN'T LIKE HER EITHER. HERE IS MY PENT-UP HATRED. Okay, I shouldn't have done that. There are too many capital letters in this one chapter. Anyways, allow me to continue. Bobette wasn't one to enjoy life. No, she was kinda boring.

"Bananas are boring," she would say. Or, even, "I'm bored of being bored." Quite boring, wasn't she? I'm sure you agree - I doubt I really need to confirm this.

Bobette wasn't all that pleasant, to be completely honest. SHE. ATE. MY. FISH. EGGPLANT. That's not fair, now is it? I've never done anything to the poor little poodle! Except for poke her, of course.

Totally a true story. TOTALLY.