The Strange Tale Of Ayla Jae

Chapter Twenty Two - A Meal With A Savior?

"Maverik..." I say, almost imperceptibly.

"What's up, kid?" He says, snacking on a small but savory meal he conjured up for us.

The small party of us has withered down to us two, with Chloe, Glitch, and Daren somewhere else in the place. I can barely manage to eat. Everything in my body is screaming too, but my head just won't let me.

"What's the point of all of this?" The words finally meandered their way out of my parched lips.

For a moment, he doesn't respond.

"Get yourself a sip of water, kid." He replies after a beat. The small gesture bypasses the imperceptible wall my head held up, and I grab the glass he slides closer to me as he grabs his own and does the same. Of course, it feels good, like most things I avoid until convinced to face them.

"Just take a bite, and ask me again. I promise to answer, okay?" He continues, while giving me a little smile. "I know it's probably not the best food, but it's the best I got for now."

After the first nibble, I taste something so vaguely familiar, but regardless, helps my body ease up a little. I swear I've tasted this mixed soup before. I gulp and gather my thoughts. A weird feeling of calm waves through me.

"I just want to make sense of all of this."

"You know, kid. Maybe it doesn't have to make so much sense." Maverik replies.

"Why wouldn't it make sense?"

"Some things just don't make sense, you know? And all of the thought, worry, and planning won't bend the line back into shape. It was meant to be a crooked and winding wire, leading where ever it was meant too. Natural things grow how they're meant to, and just because things around them influence how they change, where they go and grow, doesn't mean it was how things were supposed to go. They just did."

"Plants don't have thoughts, though? They don't get to question where they are and what's happening. I do."

"And therein lies the problem for the majority of us. We all want to make sense of everything, but maybe just this one time, put that to the side and ask yourself...what are you curious about what's happening? And more importantly, how are you going to deal with it?"

This line of thought is not something I'm unfamiliar with, but the sudden turn catches me in a weird response.

"So, you're saying I need to be more like a plant?" I say, slyly. Maverik suddenly chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so." He gulps some more water and another bite. "That's not a bad way to approach things, especially something so difficult like this."

A few moments pass, and I find myself glancing up at Maverik more than once. He's generally keeping his eyes down, but I look at the gruff nature of the brown, gray speckle mop of hair hanging around a face that looks surprisingly youthful and world weary at the same time. In a weird way, I don't really recognize him. It's as if I can know who the person is, but he's somehow a complete stranger at the same time. Even in my memory...my memory!

"I can sort of remember, Maverik." I suddenly blurt out. "That day at...where ever we were."

He looks up, and we meet eye lines for a moment. He breathes what seems like a sigh of relief.

"Well...good. Your memory is still in there somewhere, and it's sticking around. You brought up that almost immediately. But the fact you retain it is...extremely relieving."

"Relieving?"

"Ayla," he says while his tone switches again, "the main thing I worried about after all that happened years ago was that you slowly got more and more quiet, lost, and out of touch."

"Did you really know me that long?"

"I was assigned to your case for a long time. Every check-in got more tense, and when it got to the point where I was out of the picture...I didn't know what would happen or if there was anything we could do to help you out of it. By the time I got the job with Jasper, almost by sheer luck, Ianded exactly right where we needed to be with her to make a difference."

I let his words sit with us for a bit, and I get lost in the sentiment. Did he really mean the things he was saying? No one should care about me the way he said he did, the way they did. And honestly, why would they? Some ulterior motive would make total sense, and I wouldn't put it past all of these people who seem very connected, enough to do some seriously shady shit. All to help me? Dumb chaotic me?

"I don't know if I...believe all of you." I manage to say, scooping another small bite and letting it fall back into the bowl.

"Good."

I stop and look directly at him.

"Good?" I reply.

He pauses for a moment, as if to make a point. The stoic expression fades to a sly humor.

"It means you're curious. Asking questions. Not taking things at face value."

"I'm so fucking tired of asking questions." I say, dropping my spoon down. "Seriously, it's like shaving my skin off with a cheese grater."

"Whoa."

His response catches me off-guard and was perhaps a little more on the nose than he meant it to.

"I want to disappear." I say, after a heavy but silent sigh. "I've done my best to humor everyone and go a long with the insanity that keeps getting shoved into my face. But Mav," I pause and watch his face react oddly to the nickname, "I want to be gone. Not dead, just gone."

"You have every right to feel that way." He replies, his eyes gazing back down to his almost empty plate and bowl.

"I do?"

He nods.

"It's a feeling I share, and I'm willing to bet they, " he casually gestures to the other side of the place, "feel much like you. It's why despite all of this, you are very much not alone. In fact, I'd say you're less alone than you have been for a long time, yeah?"

My eyes veer away to a blank spot on the wall.

"Maybe it's time to take the handle of all of this, kid. If anyone is going to define tomorrow for you, let it be you. You against whatever they do. Us, if you so choose. But I gotta tell ya, you have to find that purpose for yourself if you're gonna make it through."

I wait a while before saying anything more.

"I think I need to sleep."

He nods and smiles just a bit.

"Sounds like a good place to start."