Don't Go There

blizzard

[a/n: this fic was recently rewritten entirely. if the comments don't make sense that's why!]

       January 11th, the day before Alex was set to leave. Neither of you had contacted the other in days. You thought back to the day you got into town, how different everything had been, and wondered how different things would be now if you'd never stopped for a coffee. Would you have run into Alex anyway? If so, what was the lesson in all this?

"You hearing this?" Aunt Juniper increased the TV's volume, and you turned toward the screen from the kitchen.

You were standing at the stove waiting for some slices potatoes to boil so you could make them into homemade mashes potatoes. You placed the lid back on the pot and turned the heat down so you could walk over to stand next to the couch. A news reporters voice carried through the room warning of an unexpected snow storm, due to hit tonight at 7 and not stop until around 4am tomorrow. Your brows rose unenthusiastically and you bit the inside of your cheek.

"Welcome back to the Midwest in January," Aunt Juniper said upon noticing your expression. "I guess I should probably head over to Simon's before 7 then."

You nodded and headed back toward the stove, "Well, at least I'll feel less guilty about not seeing Alex off now; I couldn't drive in that."

"Shit me either and I've been here all my life," your aunt agreed.

You stirred your boiling pot, "You're right about Simon's then. Know when you're leaving yet?"

"Well it's after 5 now, that shit isn't too far away. I might just start getting ready and call him over now," she stood after checking the time on her phone. "You sure you'll be okay alone again? I can definitely stay if you need."

"I'm not gonna make you wallow in sorrow with me," you over-exaggerated for comedic effect, and she did crack a smile at that. "Have fun."

She gave your shoulder a squeeze with an appreciative smile, and headed for her bedroom where she'd call Simon and get dressed to go. Of course you weren't going to make her stay with you, but it would certainly be a long and difficult night.

~

    A little over an hour after your aunt had packed up and gone, you lay unmoving on the couch, watching episodes of The Vampire Diaries you'd already seen over and over. It was sickeningly full of romance, which you couldn't stand right now. You'd looked periodically out the window as it had gotten darker and darker; you wondered how early Alex was going to bed tonight in preparation for his long drive tomorrow. It was a drive you'd never want to take, but he'd chosen to do so over a plane ride so he could haul as many of his large belongings as he could with him to his dorm.

Eventually you were desperate enough to watch seconds tick down on your phone. Convinced that he had to be in bed by this point, your heart fell a little at the certainty that he really wasn't going to say anything. You'd been holding onto a small hope you hadn't meant to have.

If this was how he wanted to leave things -- no clearing up misunderstandings, no talking about if we'd see each other again or how that kiss changed everything -- that was fine by you.

You willed that to be true as your eyes shut for sleep, blinking a single tear out.

~

    You were in such a light and troubled slumber, getting a notification woke you easily. You stared sleepily up at the ceiling for a bit, feeling a headache coming on behind your eyes. Your hand searched without haste for your phone; you imagined the text would be your aunt telling you she arrived safely, and asking if you were alright.

Alex, 9m ago
heading out

You forgot how to move, or breathe. Your eyes flew to the time-- it was 6:45pm. You blinked furiously, why the hell was he about to head out now when you guys were 15 minutes from a blizzard? He wasn't supposed to leave until tomorrow. You were also stuck on the fact that his message lacked anything like goodbye or I'll miss you. You shortly contemplated texting back. Why would he even text you that, of everything? Was he trying to get you to come out in the storm? Testing you, maybe trying to see if you were with Michael?

You had no idea, but you threw the covers off your legs and rushed to your feet to grab your coat off the back of a kitchen chair. Whatever his intentions, he was going to hear it all now; if you had to see him before he went, he would know every piece of your mind.

Deep down, you'd wanted something like this to happen. Something a little less stupid and threatening to Alex's life perhaps, but some reason to see him one last time before he went. You just knew how much it'd haunt me if you never told him, never took that chance. He was welcome to go off to college and live his best life, maybe with someone else, but you had to get this off your chest. Had to at least give him a choice.

Maybe that was selfish.

You had to go quickly before you changed your mind. Before he dared to head out in this storm. You rushed to exit, not even bothering to zip your coat. you swung the door open and instantly froze in your tracks, your world jerking to a halt. Your thoughts were no longer spinning out of control, in fact there wasn't a thing on your mind you could clearly make out as you stared ahead. Alex stood before you, the first snowflakes of the storm scattered in his hair and over the shoulders of his coat. His hand slowly lowered from where it hovered at face level, balled into a loose fist as if he'd been that close to knocking before you yanked the door open.

As if he were an illusion, you looked over him again and again, mouth slightly agape and brows knit close. His expression remained unreadable but soft. The seconds that you two stood holding each other's gaze felt like hours, the frosty air nipping at your fingers and tip of your nose.

And then, with one shake of his head, Alex was in the door, his hands on your waist and his mouth on yours.