I'll Be Your Batman

Chapter 11: Thunderstorms

When I awake, my mind is fuzzy. I have to stop waking up like this.

"Finally, you're awake. You know you pulled a really stupid stunt back there." A hear a doctor say. He comes closer and helps me sit up, my mind still a little groggy.

I realize what has happened and I panic. "Where's Stiles? How is he? What happened to him?"

"Slow down kid. He's in another room, he's fine, as fine as you can expect for a kid who just lost his mom."

My face pales and I feel sick. His mother, she's gone. What's going to happen to him? I know of course he won't be the same.

"Can I see him?" I whisper.

"No." He says sternly. I snap my eyes up to his. "Listen, he's in a bad place right now, nothing will make him feel better, not you, not his dad, the only thing that will make him feel better is his mom, and unfortunately she's gone."

I feel like I'm going to be sick, so I stand quickly, but don't head towards the bathroom.

"Your family is waiting for you."

My family?

I walk out of the room without another glance back and head towards the hallway, where my family is sitting waiting for me.

"Hey baby." My mother says, standing in front of me. I brush past her and continue walking, saying nothing. I feel like if I open my mouth, I'll either vomit or start crying, and I don't feel like doing either.

I walk out of the hospital, with my family following me close behind.

I see the truck, but I don't feel like riding in a car with my family's stare always on me.

Without even bothering to tell my mother, I start walking towards the woods.

"Derek, wait!" Laura yells. I ignore her and charge into the woods, ripping my t-shirt to shreds in the process.

I can hear the faint yells of my family, and I don't care. I don't care if they follow me. I don't think about their faces, the way they feel right now. All I think about, all I can see, is Claudia's lifeless body, right before I faded into unconscious.

I fall to the ground on my knees and stare up at the moon. I become angry, furious. Why the hell did this have to happen? And why to him? He doesn't deserve this, no one does.

I let out a roar of frustration, though once I hear it, it sounds like more of a plea for help. I sound broken, I feel broken. And how selfish is that? I didn't even lose my own mother, hell I didn't even really know Claudia.

I want to see Stiles, but at the same time I don't. I want to see him smiling and laughing, not broken. Even without him being here, I can still picture his tear stained face, a image I never wanted to see.

I realize the doctor is probably right, I shouldn't see Stiles. Stiles and his dad are in pain, and if I came now, I would just seem like a love-sick puppy.

What's going to happen? I've faced death before, I've caused it, and yet I've never felt something like this. With Paige, it was an ache in my heart, a feeling of loss and misery, and now, it's all that, plus the overwhelming feeling like this will never get better.

I want to hold him and tell him everything will be okay, but how can I do that when I myself am not okay? I shouldn't be like this, I didn't lose anyone, he did.

With that thought I stand up, wipe the tears from my eyes, put on my default 'I'm going to kill you' face, and start running.

I need to be okay, for Stiles, for his dad, for my family. I know they are all worried.