ʟɪғᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ғᴀɪʀʏᴛᴀʟᴇ | namjin ✔

•epilogue•

This chapter might be short, because this is mostly in Namjoon's POV. Just to torture you as much as I tortured myself.

"It's time to let go"
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Namjoon's condition was the worst among everyone who was close to Seokjin. The youngest didn't want to believe that Seokjin was no longer alive. That he was gone. His Jin was gone... My Jin is gone...

He was hysterical when even the doctors had confirmed that Seokjin's lungs had stopped functioning and he had died. It had nothing to do with hysteria or suffocation due to crying. The tumor had already grown too big and fatal.

But Namjoon still blames himself. He thinks that Seokjin died because of him... No one could convince him otherwise. He had seen Seokjin's tearful face twisted into a pained expression on his deathbed. How could he believe that it wasn't his fault?

Seokjin left him. He left him without even knowing that Namjoon loved him just as much, if not more than how Seokjin loved Namjoon. He left, thinking Namjoon hates him. He left. He left him. He left him pathetic and broken.

How could you do this to me, Jin? All he was left with were broken pieces of his heart and painful memories of his beloved. Why didn't you tell me? Why?

Even Hoseok was scared for Namjoon. The blonde didn't speak, didn't eat, didn't even move. It was as if he was frozen at a place. Seokjin didn't want Namjoon to get hurt. But unknowingly, he hurt him the most without even trying to.

Namjoon found Seokjin's letter he had written him just three days ago. Somehow, he knew he wasn't going to live too long. Hoseok was supposed to give it to Namjoon after two years. When he supposedly still "hated" Seokjin.

But Namjoon demanded the letter from Hoseok. Nothing ever goes my way, does it? Hoseok could almost hear Seokjin whining with a pouty face. He chuckled sadly. I'm sorry, Jinnie.

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Dear Joonie,

I know, you probably hate me by now.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I never wanted you hurt.
I'm probably dead by now. Lol. Sorry, wrong time to joke.

I'm pretty sure Hobi overexaggerated everything after I died. I didn't die of anything serious. It was just lung cancer. Well, fatal one. Honestly, no one could do anything about it.

I have a question, did Hobi play something depressing at my funeral? If he dead, I swear I'm going to kill him-.

I'm pretty sure Hobi already told you everything, but please don't blame yourself for anything Namjoon. It wasn't your fault. I was the one who made you hate me.

I was afraid of hurting people when I left. Hobi was stubborn, and we're basically twins, so I couldn't do anything about him. But he promised me not to cry at my funeral. To let go and move on with life.

I want people to remember me and smile. Not cry. I hate sad endings. Please don't be sad or guilty after reading this letter. Once again, it wasn't your fault.

I want you to smile and let go. Please go on with life. And if Hobi made you feel guilty and confronted you, you have my permission. Castrate him. He doesn't need a dick anyway.

I love you, Joonie. Please be happy. This is my last wish. To see you and Hobi happy. Even if you hate me now, I hope you hate me a little less.

Love,
Jinnie
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Namjoon smiled reading the letter. He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. I'm sorry, Jinnie. It's too hard to let go. But he was going to try. He was going to be happy, for Seokjin.

But he can't let go. He just can't. Seokjin meant everything to him. But now he lost his everything. He can't move on. He won't be able to.

You didn't even let me tell you how much I love you and just how much you mean to me. You're so cruel, Kim Seokjin. So cruel.

But I still want you...

But after all, Life Is Not A Fairytale.
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