𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐋 ─ all of us are dead

𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦

Gyeong-su was sitting on the floor, his back and side pressed against the wall. He refused to look up when Rosie stood in front of him. She sighed heavily, throwing herself on the ground to sit next to him. Her back was pressed against the wall, but her side was pressed against Gyeong-su. He forced himself to not wrap his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer to him.

"Gyeong-su," she nudged his shoulder. He still didn't acknowledge her presence. She pressed herself into him further to annoy him, unaware of the things she was making him feel due to their close proximity. She groaned. She took ahold of his leg, shaking it vigorously.

"Gyeong-su, Gyeong-su, Gyeong-su, Gyeong-su –" she started pestering him. He wouldn't lie, he liked his name coming out of Rosie's mouth. "Pay attention to me, you little shit."

His lips quirked up in a small smile. He finally looked at her. "What?"

"Why are you angry at me?" she asked with a slight pout.

He looked at her lips; her pink, rosy, kissable lips – snap out of it, Gyeong-su – he cleared his throat before removing his gaze away from her lips. "I'm not angry at you."

"Liar," she scoffed. "Then why do you look angry?"

"I'm not angry. I just," he paused. He let out a small sigh, shaking his head. "Forget about it."

"No," she placed her head on his shoulder, looking at him. "Tell me."

He tilted his face to look at her, completely aware of their close proximity. He looked away, averting his eyes. He hesitated before questioning, "Do you still love Bare-su?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just answer me please," his voice sounded desperate for the answer. He glanced at her when she didn't reply, watching as she looked at Bare-su, deep in her thoughts. Feeling eyes on himself, Bare-su turned, spotting Rosie. He shot her a smile, waving his hand at her. She smiled back. He looked away, continuing his conversation with Cheongsan.

Rosie looked at Gyeong-su, but he was already looking at her. "I don't think I ever stopped loving him –"

"Oh," his face fell, shoulders slumping.

"But," he perked up. His shoulders lifted slightly, and Rosie had to hide a smile when she noticed how his mood changes every second. She continued, "I'm not in love with him. At first I was, I mean after our break up. I was still in love with him back then, but if you ask me now – that if I'm in love with him, then no. I love him very much, but I'm not in love with him."

Gyeong-su felt relieved. It felt as if all the weight on his shoulders has been lifted up. It felt good – it felt exhilarating to know that she wasn't in love with Bare-su anymore. Then the feeling of dread set in. Was she not in love with Bare-su because she fell in love with someone else?

He blinked slowly, contemplating whether he should ask or not. Before he could even stop himself, he blurted out, "Do you love someone else then?"

She looked away from him, staring at the wall opposite to where they were sitting. Did she love someone else? Was she in love with someone else? After her breakup with Bare-su, she hadn't much thought about getting into relationship with others. Was she because she didn't want to admit her feeling? Or was it because she was afraid? Afraid that her heart will be broken again; afraid that she'd have to pick up the million shattered pieces one by one again; afraid that no matter what, there will always be someone out there better than her to love – easier than her to love.

She realized that she'd been staring at the wall too long, not answering Gyeong-su's question. She turned to look at him, replying, "I'm not sure."

"No?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Do you love someone?"

"I do," he looked away from her, staring at the wall opposite to them like she did before. He looked like he was in a daze, and Rosie didn't want to disturb that. "She's the most beautiful, kind, funny girl I know. There's no one like her. She's perfect, flawless. Even if it's just her presence, I feel thousand times better. She has no idea about how she makes me feel."

"Who is she?" Rosie enquired, "Why don't you tell her then? Will you tell her after you meet her? When you both have made it out alive? What is her name? Do I know her? Tell me!"

Gyeong-su chuckled at her excitement. He smiled sadly, mumbling, "It's not that easy."

Deciding to not press him further regarding this topic, she settled on saying, "If you say so."

Only if you knew, Gyeong-su thought to himself, Just how much I am in love with you.