Our Past - Quackity

5

The knocking on the door startles Alex. The lawyer can feel his heart hammering against his ribs as if it wants to burst out of his chest. Wilbur. Wilbur is here, and Alex doesn't know yet how he's going to approach the topic.

Trying to avoid the tremor in his voice, Alex invites the person in, also trying hard not to make his nervous smile seem forced when Wilbur Watson's face appears behind the open door.

"Good afternoon." Among all the mental turmoil Alex almost forgot to greet the man.

"Good afternoon." He responds in a tone that denotes radiant good humor. Without thinking, Alex jumps at an opportunity to open up a conversation. A casual one, he hopes.

"How have you been lately? You look happy today." Oh god, was that too casual? Too nosy?

Before Alex can fully panic, Wilbur jumps in to answer, looking as relaxed as ever.

"Haha, well... it's about my little brother." He replies, shaking his head gently without looking at Alex. The man feels his heartbeat quicken immediately at the mention of his possible child.

"Oh... is-is everything okay?" The hesitation is impossible to hide, when Alex feels that his heart is going to jump out of his chest at any moment. With the question hanging in the air, he realizes how stupid it is. He wouldn't be laughing if it wasn't something harmless.

Wilbur takes a moment before replying, an amused smile settling on his face. A laugh escapes before speaking.

"I think the kid's starting to find love."

A heavy silence falls between them and the brown-haired man's gaze finally lifts to the lawyer in front of him. It would be obvious to anyone how lost he looks in his own ideas. Wilbur finds it strange, but he decides not to mention anything.

Teenage love... the worst thing that could have happened in Alex's life. Mostly because he was the only teenager, under the control and illusion of love of a man almost a decade older than him. Loving Schlatt had been the worst thing Alex had ever done with his young life, but that ignorant mistake had also created the truest love Alex could ever have known. The one that had hurt the most to leave behind.

This is not the time to remember. He cannot allow himself to be dominated by the memories that have not stopped haunting him for almost twenty years now. But it's not as easy as just saying no. Alex is aware that his charge of emotions and his altered mood has been dense enough that Wilbur looks confused and somewhat worried, the smile he wore having left his face.

"... I'm really sorry, I got a little distracted there. Just remembered something." Alex excuses himself, settling into his chair and trying not to mumble and speak clearly. He doesn't want to feel like that lost boy again, small and powerless, unable to speak his ideas. He is now a man, an independent and mature man.

A lonely man, longing and aching for yesterday.

A man who will never stop regretting and missing.

"That's...wonderful." Alex hopes that didn't sound forced. But the thought that his young son might go through the same situation he himself went through sixteen years ago makes his stomach churn with disgust and anxiety. Tobías can't go through the same thing. Alex promised him that things wouldn't be the same. He promised him a better life, away from him.

Wilbur's voice almost goes unnoticed in the background of his thoughts, but his level of alertness is enough not to ignore the person who accompanies him in his office.

"Excuse me if I come across as nosy," Wilbur seems a bit hesitant to continue, but after a second he does anyway "but, do you have children?"

His stomach sinks and his blood runs cold at the question. Alex feels as if he is going to faint.