Breaking Fairy Tales !

Philophobia wins over heart

Thanks to @saquiba for being such a wonderful supporter <3

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Rhea - Yes! xxxx I would love to...

Ayush - That's great girlfriend ;) xx *muahh*

Rhea - Ohkay ! I gtg.. I'll cya tomorrow...Buhbyyee :*

That one kiss from him really freaked me out.

I quickly logged out and didn't even wait for his reply. I was beyond happy. I finally had a boyfriend. My first boyfriend and everything happened while my dad was in the same room.

My life was certainly going to be different now. Different in a good way though.

But I was still nervous. I was a Miss goody-two-shoes and I didn't want anything to affect my studies and I certainly didn't want to break my parents' trust.

Let's see how life takes all of this...

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I went to the school the next day in a cheery mood. I wondered if I should tell my group about Ayush, but my mind told me not to.

My group shipped me and Aarav and so they would be real pissed on me, if I tell them that I am with Ayush. Does that make me a bad friend I thought?

Well! Who cares? And I shrugged the thought out of my mind.

I was humming a tune of a popular love song while the teacher was teaching.

"Are you in love?" Someone asked and I hushed them while blushing madly. I could not tell anyone about Ayush so soon.

The boring day ended and I happily skipped towards home. It was evening and as usual, me and Ayush were supposed to meet at 6pm. I wore my best outfit and properly did my hair, caring about my appearance for the first time. I peeped out of the window to see that it was drizzling and the moist mud carried a beautiful scent in the atmosphere. I loved that smell and the drizzles.

I came out of the elevator to see that Ayush was standing near the other building. He gave me his million dollar smile while his dimples were peeping out of his cheek. I really had a thing for dimples. He looked perfect. He was on the other side of the building. He waved lightly and I followed.

He started walking towards me, with his hand brushing his black hair which were carefully styled today, and the other one trying to protect himself from the rain. He looked extremely hot. Omg! Was I really thinking that?

I broke out of my trance when I saw that my hand was in his hand and he was jiggling it like the kindergarten kids. Instead of feeling happy, I felt a sudden sharp pain in my heart. It was like my sixth sensation was telling me that something wrong is happening.

I don't know what happened within the next 2 minutes, but I found myself on the third floor of the building. I curled my arms around myself and sat down on the stairs hearing faint voice of Ayush calling my name. He couldn't find me and maybe he left.

What just happened to me? My fear of falling in love was back. Guys just hurt you and use you. I didn't want to get attached to anyone, just to get my heart broken later on. Attachment is a really weird thing. You feel happy for some time, but just when you think that you are at the peak of happiness, the fall begins. And you fall hard with no one to catch you. Stumbling on my way towards my future was not something I was looking for. I needed my heart and soul intact. I didn't want my tears to be wasted yet again. I was tired of getting hurt again and again.

If you are thinking that I had a horrible experience with love before, then you are wrong. Ayush is my first boyfriend. There are other reasons for the hurt entrapped in my heart.

I ran up the stairs to my house and opened my Facebook to see Ayush's message. He genuinely looked concerned about me and asked me why I ran away.

I didn't know what to say, but I couldn't lie to him. So I bluntly told him that I couldn't be in a relationship with him. He asked me the reason, but I just said that it won't work out for me. It was the first time that I was being rude and blunt with someone.

But this had to be done; I couldn't get attached to anyone. Everyone leaves you. You came alone and you will leave alone.

I wiped a tear which was forming on the brim of my right eye. My first boyfriend and it lasted for less than 24 hours. I surely had a crazy life.

I wanted to share everything with someone and get my head off from things. But who?

Whom should I trust?

As I was thinking, my eyes landed on the chat of a particular person and I opened the chat box and typed in a Hello :)

I saw the sign Hrihan is typing.....

And I smiled.

xxx

"I am not anyone's first choice.

I'm not anyone's favourite.

People may tell me that I mean a lot to them and that I am special to them,

But I know that there's someone else they will always choose over me."

-Rhea's Journal