It seems I haven't written here in a while.
I just thought about a lot of things and it made me want to come here.
It's been almost five years after graduating from high school.
Most of my friends have finished their college, or half already. Most of my friends have had brilliant careers. Most of my friends have happy families with their little babies and beloved husbands.
And that is them.
Where am I?
Just got to the starting line.
Just getting started.
It was a long journey before it reached this stage. And it's not a short time. Even though it made me feel discouraged, I just realized that maybe this is what I have to go through.
So, this is my starting line to reach my dream.
After going through a lot of doubts.
Five years after graduation.
In the third option.
Hey, Star, how about you?
Looks familiar.
I ended up calling your name again when I wrote about my dreams.
Yes, before this, my dream was related to you.
Maybe I still hope it will relate to you.
But that's the furthest dream.
Too delisional.
I remembered about five years ago.
Just when I was so excited to chase you.
To become equal to you.
Then reality hit me and I even gave up.
But the wheels turned and I came to this phase.
Such a long process.
I finally ran.
But I'm still left behind.
You have reached the finish line.
With other girl beside you.
I won't cry. I won't.
I don't know how to describe the feelings I feel right now.
Too abstract.
It's been a long time since I thought about my feelings for you.
It felt like it had faded.
But here as I write this and remember about that past, my feelings are hurt again.
When I just realized you seemed untouchable or it was me who never dared to show my feelings.
It really hurts.
But there is no reason to curse this fate.
I've always adored you.
I always want you to be happy.
You're so precious, still.
And this enthusiasm, maybe because of you.
So, keep on moving forward.
Start your new journey.
I just want to thank you.
For everything.
And I will start my new journey too.
:)
