We'll Get Through This

CHAPTER 02

CARINA'S POV

-How are you holding up? – Amelia asked for the hundredth time this week. It was good to feel her concern and – why not – love towards me, but it was starting to drive me crazy.

-I don't cry as much, I guess that's sign of improvement. - I stirred the food on my plate avoiding eye contact but there was no real urge to eat at that moment. All I wanted was to go back in time, to three weeks ago when the possibility of having a baby was still real. Because now I knew. I knew it wasn't a possibility.

I feel like shit, Maya feels terrible too and we just can't get over all the pain that gripped both of us. I know it's a phase, I told her: We'll get through this together. I believe that.

I have to believe.

-Baby steps. – Amelia drank up some of her smoothie. – Maybe she'll change her mind.

-Stop. – I sighed. - Don't say that. First, it's condescending. Second, Maya doesn't need to change her mind. I deal with women every day and I always hold to the idea that no woman needs children to feel complete. I wished with all my heart that Maya wanted to have a baby with me, but she doesn't, and I have to wrap my mind... No, head! I have to wrap my head around it.

-I'm not trying to be condescending, I'm just trying to give you some hope. – I felt my friend's hand in mine, keeping me from moving the fork around the plate.

-I don't think there's hope to that. – I bit my lip hard. I can't cry anymore, my head's throbbing from my usual morning cry and I'm trying to stick to the goal of just one cry per day lately so I'm focusing on other things to mask the sorrow within. The pain on my lip will have to do the trick.

The rest of lunch went by without any further topics, Amelia told me all about the mess her relationship with Link was in, and I could also see that, despite her tough pose, she was also suffering from the unpredictability of the situation.

-You have a baby you're running from marriage, my wife ran after marriage and is running away from babies. I think we should give both of us a chance, we're quite compatible right now. - I joked and Amelia gave me a very suggestive smirk. – Dio mio, Amelia! I'm kidding!

-You know what they say: Every joke has an underlying truth. – She laughed a little. – But don't let Maya know I said that.

-I won't. – Although I knew I probably would someday.

-I know I'm no marriage expert, but I think you guys are doing a good job. Except for this disagreement, I think you guys have the healthiest relationship I know, firefighter Barbie is completely crazy about you.

-And I'm completely crazy about her too. - I muttered crossing my arms over my chest and momentarily remembering the night we watched a movie last week, the way we kissed, how much I wanted to touch her and make her feel good. I missed my wife. So much.

-Grieving is normal. But... Don't you think maybe it's time for you to let her get closer again? – Amelia asked nervously nibbling her lower lip.

-I just don't know how to do this, it's like every time we're together I can only focus on the idea that she doesn't want to have kids.

-Carina, you can definitely focus on that gorgeous pair of boobs she has.

-Amelia! - I scolded her, jumping a little in the chair. - It's my wife you're talking about.

-With all due respect, with all due respect! You know I have a crush on her. – She joked and I rolled my eyes. – But now I'm serious, your marriage is amazing. You love each other and need to refocus on that love.