Why Are We Afraid?

[Ten]

"Are you happy?"

I look up from my food at Soobin, confused "why are you asking me that?" I let out a small chuckle.

He shrugs poking around in his food, "because we haven't been talking about you" he says.

"You keep asking about me, but..whenever I return the question you dodge it" he shrugs.

I force a smile nodding.

I want to tell him about the night of Homecoming but I don't want him to worry.

Tomorrow will mark a full week since that night and yet, I feel no better.

"I'm happy" I lie.

He then smiles at me and continues eating his food, "hey guys!" Kai sits down.

"Hey" we both greet him.

"So" he starts as he opens his container of food, "we should go somewhere tomorrow".

I hum, "like where?" I ask. He shrugs, "we haven't hung out since homecoming night, so" he laughs.

"We could go to the movies" Soobin suggests. Kai hums loudly, "yes! Great idea!" He exclaims making us laugh.

My phone vibrates on the table causing all of us to look down, "who's that?" Kai asks as I grab my phone.

"Yeonjun"

From: Yeonjun: "how's your Friday? Btw..it's been one week, I hope you changed you mind"

To: Yeonjun: "it's fine and we'll see"

I shut my phone off looking up to both, Kai and Soobin looking at me already.

"What?"

"When did you two get so close?" Soobin shrugs, "homecoming night" I shrug.

Kai hums raising his brows, "no funny business, right?" He states.

I laugh shaking my head, "shut up Kai".

I glance at Soobin, he gives me a small smile "no funny business" I confirm just in case he's feeling some type of way.

//

Two knocks sound on my bedroom door, "come in" I call.

I turn to the opening door seeing Yeonjun, "what's up" he smiles.

I smile in response.

"Are you staying till tomorrow or heading back to campus?" I ask him. He shrugs, "that depends on how you answer this question".

"Do you still want to kill yourself?"

I just look at him, not wanting to give him the real answer.

This week hasn't been good.

After one week, it was supposed to be better.

But, maybe that only applied to Yeonjun.

"You do?" He interrupts the silence, "look" he sighs leaning on the doorframe.

"After dinner, let's talk some more and hang out" he smiles, "I'll try to make you feel better".

I just hum, "nothing is gonna make me feel better" I chuckle.

"We'll see about that" he grins, "let's go eat".

Yeonjun and I sit down at the dinner table with Mr. Choi, "hey, how was school kiddo?" He asks me.

I force a smile nodding, "it was..school" I shrug as Mrs. Choi sits the rest of dinner down on the table.