Fall

Only one call away

So, they left and I was all alone. The surgery took longer than it was supposed to, and now my grandmother wouldn't be back for a week. So, now grandma's in the hospital, my best friend is in Japan, and my possible old best friend is back on tour gone again. I'm very lonely. But I'd rather be alone then in pain. I've been left alone a lot, since my father became a drunk. I was either left alone, or abused.

Now, I'm alone again. But my father still isn't around, he's not gonna walk through the door and start hurting me again, or try and finish the job. He's not gonna appear in a phantom form and come back and haunt me, trying to hurt me again. Or at least I hope not, but I've been wrong before, and what we've learned previously, stranger things have happened.

I don't have Athena's number because she doesn't have her own phone, but thanks to Athena Justin had my number and I now had his. I could use that. Justin told me to use it. He'd given me both his personal number and his business number. That I could call either anytime even if he won't always answer right away.

I saw no point in calling, he'd either be hours ahead of me or hours behind me. He'd be busy, I wouldn't be able to talk to him anyways. With no connection to anyone, it was kind of depressing. I waited for him to call me, I knew that wouldn't happen. I haven't been alone since, the last time my father left to go be drunk, before the authorities came to try and take me away.

I hopped that Athena would find away to contact me. But she's still hours difference from where I am. I'd gone to sleep with nightmares constantly, that wasn't a new thing. But at least when my dad was around, I knew he was coming back. Now, both my parents are dead, my "old" best friend IDK if Justin is or isn't since it would've been years since we'd seen each other, even if he did save me. My "new" best friend's parents were murdered, everyone blamed me for something that wasn't my fault, everything was going so well after my grandmother adopted us as her own daughters, after the abuse both from my father, and my ex boyfriend, who had cheated on me, now after things had been going well I knew they couldn't last forever. And I was right.

Having no connection with either of my friends, and my grandma in the hospital, I was alone again, very truly alone now. It was almost the same as saying they all were dead now too. They might as well be. No, I can't think that way! They'll come back. As I crawl into bed, going to sleep for the night to wake up again to go to school, again, there was one thought, ok so one song that went through my mind, a song that didn't even make sense to me at the time.

And in the morning (outfit 2)it started all over again, the only good thing about school was is that no one dared to pick on me again, that wasn't Conner or Amber, because of people like Conner and Amber, and the announcement I'd made previously. No one cared what I did, and or they all felt bad for things I'd gone through, and therefore let me do what I wanted. But because no one cares about me, that was probably part of the reason why I had a hard time trusting people, because no one cares. It's hard to stay positive, when there's nothing to be positive about.

And then, it happened. I was sitting in English class, at the front of the room, in the first row, where I typically sit, because studies show you usually get better grades because you sit at the front of the room. Athena would've been sitting to the right of me, we've sat in the same English class together ever since we became friends. My phone went off, It never goes off, nobody wants to talk to me, there's no reason to.

I got scared, and embarrassed that I'd get in trouble for possibly answer the phone in the middle of class. So I'd sent one of those messages out that comes up, when you can't talk to someone at the moment, when they called. And hit end. There was nothing more than I wanted to have answered the phone and talked to whoever was on the other line.

It could've been the hospital calling and telling me about my grandmother, telling me some form of news, it could've been from Athena, and she could've finally gotten a hold of a phone, or it could've been Justin, trying to call me. But I couldn't talk right now. I was in class. But, after that, I'd gone into my phone to set special ringtones for each.

I made a number I knew by heart, was for my Justin, from when we were younger, his home number, since at the time we wouldn't had, had cell phones at the age we would've been at. But I put the number in my phone anyways, and in my phone his ring tone, one that I never expected to hear again, was True Friend. Athena's was Just Like You, my grandmother's was You'll be in my Heart, and Justin's "this" Justin's ringtone was Hero. Even if a part of me wanted to had made it be One Call Away. If only there would've been some way to make it all one song. So I'd gone and made it my background music.

And then it went off again. It's - it's Justin

Is something wrong Farrah? Um, no ma'am. Are you going to answer your phone it might be important? I knew it wasn't important, but she was telling me to answer it anyways. Jason? Hey? Yes, I used his school name.

Justin: Put your phone on speaker, I don't care if you're in class.

Me: But....

I'd turned to the class, he wants me to put it on speaker. They all leaned in close to hear what the person on the other line was gonna say. And because of that, I did.

Justin: Hey guys, it's Justin, Farrah I was gonna keep calling until you answered, I really wanted to hear your voice. I miss you. The whole class awed.

Me: .... He waited for me to say something.... I-I, I bit my lip, as everyone crowded around me, and he waited for an answer.... I miss you too. A lot. I miss hearing your voice.

Justin: I miss you so much, I'll be back, when we take a couple days off to like refuel, and do unnecessary things. I'm gonna come back just for you for homecoming, and then when its all over, I'll be back on tour, and then I'll come back to KS, and Athena will be back by then too, the first time, in time for homecoming, and we'll go from there.

I didn't know what to say.

Justin: Farrah, are you still there?

Me: Yeah, I'm still here.

Justin: When things slow down, and I come back, I have something to tell you, privately, as in alone. Just us, no your grandma, no Athena, no cameras flashing, no classmates, nobody but us.

Me: Justin, when? What's going on?

Justin: When it's all over, when I come back, and stay for a while, like longer than a while, there's a time and place for saying the things I want to say to you, the things I have to say, before I can't anymore, but I can't lose you.... Again, and - and you'll understand what I mean when I come to talk to you. Just us.

Me: Justin, what's going on, is it bad? You're scaring me.

Justin: He laughed, no it's not bad, it's - it's I'll let you determine what it is to you, but ok it's not like a lie, but it's the truth of the matter. And in short, until we talk again, and I can explain, but Farrah you're right and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, the very first day, I didn't think I should after everything you'd been through, but now I'm wondering if, if I'd told you when it happened, that you'd be so happy.

Me: What are you talking about?

Justin: You'll find out, soon. I promise, but I.... I um.... I wanted to say I loved her, but I knew I couldn't, so I told her that I had to go now. I have to go now, but remember I'm only one call away.