Ex

17. I Need... To

HYUNJIN

Lets be stranger...

You can pretend that you dont even know me...

Go away...

That's all I want...

The darkness starts to embraced me as I sit at the table. As the way its so lonely today, I only possessed by those unbearable words.

"Enjoy your coffee, Hyunjin-ssi." The waiter came with my caramel macchiato.

"Thanks."I pretends to smile at him before he left.

Yes, I am at our special date place. But today, I didn't came with him.

I came alone.

I felt weird about myself. Months ago, I keep convincing everyone that I will never ever going back to the past.

But I found myself unknowingly thinking about him more these days.

Sometimes, I just find it funny how I'm the one who was making a deal  with him about breaking up and here I am, crying over the same person.

Needed to always reminding myself that our paths are different now. We are not dreaming of the same fantasy anymore. In fact, he is creating the brand new story with his boyfriend now.

And who am I to question it? Who am I to judge? I should be happy at least for his well being.

"Oppa!"

My small cloud of thoughts dissappeared. Startled by the sudden interruption. Lifting up my head in question as Yuna appeared with her sunny smiley.

"We keep meeting each other. Geez, what a coincidence!" And she sat down looking so sparky.

"What are you doing here? At night?" Its strange that a teenager can go around outside the house, at night plus without parents supervision.

"There's drawing session nearby, so I came with Yeji eonnie. She told me to buy some drinks that's why I'm here. What about you?" She shamelessly drag my cup and sips on my coffee, didn't mind if I drank it or not at first.

The question she gave leaving me in silence. I look outside the glass walls. All those star-like cars lights flew off the highway in front of the cafe sends me deeper into my thoughts.

"I'm here to erase something." I said when I'm sure of what I want.

"Hmm? Erase what?" She shows interest in what I was thinking about.

"Erase something that will never leave me." The thing that happens because of my mistake too. "Erase it forever and not to recall it ever again."

"I dont know what you're talking about. But trust me, there's always be good starting for every bad endings." She stated, giving me her sparkling eyes.

And I hope I will be apart of the good started after tonight.

"But oppa.. tell me? What are those things you want to erase so bad? Your... Past?"

My past? Yes, right. Felix is my past. Why is that? Its because I cant defend him in front of parents that night. I didn't even bother to loosen down my pride in that fight and let the relationship broke in a second. I dont think I deserve to be by his side with this version of self.

"I'm erasing the remorse. And this would be the last time, I came here. The place that was so special for me. The place that holds so many beautiful things. But now, I just see my foolish self whenever I'm here."

Yuna just look at me in silence. She probably has so many questions but she also seems a little bit lost with what I just said.

"When everything's over, that's means.. the past will closed the door. And that time, I would like to find my restart button of life and accept what future holds for me." I said, forming a pool of hope inside my eyes.