𝟐𝟏.𝟐.𝟏𝟎

𝓚𝓪𝓵𝓲

I don't remember when my life was bright and colorful, since I open my eyes in this awful life, I suffered and all I remember is how I was tormented because of my parents

Sometimes I was laughing and crying at the same time whenever I see other kids having a happy childhood and memories with their parents,

" But what about me ?! "

I don't deserve all this scary memories and all this nightmares ..
nightmares that make me wake up crying and shaking because I'm scared ..
But do you think there's someone will make me feel safe ?!
I look around and I don't find anyone to hold me tight and tell me

" it's ok Kali .. it's just a nightmare "

How can I be happy in this life ..
Ain't they say that every child should have a peaceful life !!
But where can I find the peaceful when I already lost it the second I born ..

I grew up in the dark alone with creatures,
Creatures with black eyes and small horns
They were the only friends I had

No one could get closer to me because I'm weird and scary, I was bullying and hitting everyone but especially the happy kids
The kids with bright smile ..
when I was seeing how their life is perfect I was feeling pain ..

" I'm not a bad person I swear .. but they made me like this, dark and scary "

I still remember how I kept hitting that girl, 'cause she bothered me
I couldn't stop myself, till I saw her blood dropping on the floor, but I couldn't feel anything at that moment at all ..

Everyone was fearing from me except Kino ..
She's the only one who get closer to my dark side ..

" But why did you get closer Kino .. why did you decided to love me .. I know I'll destroy you some day without stopping myself .. I know I'll put pain inside your chest .. I know you will leave me at the end like everyone did .. I wish you never get closer to me .. but I really love you Kino .. "

I had alot of ex's but I never been in a relationship with a boy, I really feel disgusting from them

Every relationship I had, it was wast of time
I never felt I'm in love with someone but maybe at some point I thought I'm in love with my last ex, but again I didn't felt anything for her when we broke up even though she hurted me

No one could understand me, all of them were looking for love and sex, attention and care
But I were look for peaceful .. I were looking for safety ..

I created my Instagram account and after few years I got a lot of followers, but basically I was fighting with everyone because no one likes when the girl be herself, so it was kinda fun for me to talk shit and fight with those close minded
After a while I decided to open a tiktok account and again a lot of followers and comments after comments, Some of them were trying to have me and some of them fights but in both cases I was having fun with them, people were sending me nudes without asking and I was feeling disgusting from them

My life literally was colorless till one night someone comment on one of my videos in tiktok and to be honest this comment made me wonder

" What on earth is wrong with this girl is she blind or what "

So I just replied to her and continue my night smoking and fighting with my ex

The next day I opened my Instagram acc and I saw a follow request, I had a weird feeling .. is it the same girl from tiktok ?!
But I ignored this feeling and accepted the request

After hours she reply on my story and I felt she wants to play but I wasn't in the mood to talk so all I did is just answer with one word then again she sent another message ..

I really didn't know what should I say even though I wanted to talk to her somehow but I just liked her message and go

Until the next day she replied again but oh god ..
She changed her profile picture and damn.. is that her face or a picture from the pinterest hmm ..

But this time when she replied and told me how much my neck is nice to choke, she pulled me and made me wanna play with her since I have a strong feeling that she's a player
But unfortunately she doesn't know that she is playing with the wrong person 'cause I'm a player from to long and this is my game

I can't deny and say that I didn't enjoyed talking with her but after few days I felt something weird..

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To be continued