Peeling Back the Top Layer 🇯🇲

31| Therapeutic

"See weh yuh ask fa deh," Marsha hands me a bag with the steaming hot patties and the bottle of juice as she and Gillian enter. Their arrival is the perfect timing. It's just after I finish cleaning and putting out a second load of laundry to dry.

I pour the juice into a glass then join them in the living room where I curl my legs up in the loveseat and take a bite out of my patty. They're busy eating too.

"Mmmmmm, just the way I like it," I moan, closing my eyes and savoring the goodness of the beef and cheese melt.

They both giggle at my reaction. "Same way yuh gwaan pon Chaunard buddy don't?" asks Marsha. I flip her the middle finger and continue eating. We wouldn't be dealing with Marsha if she didn't spot the hickey and bring attention to it.

"Den missis, wah mek yuh sidung and mek di mosquito lef dat deh big bite pan your neck? Him mus draw nuff blood. Nuh wonder yuh affi stay home. It woulda mus sick yuh to raas."

"Weh yuh nu lef me alone?" I laugh. "Di time yuh tek a fool roun me yuh would tell me wah so urgent dat it couldn wait or discuss over di phone."

"Ummm... mi nuh sure how fi seh dis but... I'm still a virgin," Marsha mutters. The piece of patty I bite off flies straight down my throat, causing me to gag. I cough until tears fall from my eyes, trying to expel the wad of food from my airways. 

Gillian is the first to run to my assistance. She rubs my back while Marsha hands me the glass of juice to drink.

"Ok then," I manage to choke out after a mouthful of juice.

"Wah yuh mean yuh still a virgin? Yuh nearly kill off poor Kelsie," chides Gillian.

"It mean seh a penis never go inna mi vagina before. Dat hard fi believe?" She sounds partly annoyed and partly offended.

"No no, calm down Marshy. Di way how yuh talk wid experience and mek wi believe seh you a fling it up inna di bedroom...of course we ago shock," I defend.

She relents and sits back on the couch, crossing her arms. "It hard fi mi, alright?! Mi try more dan one time but it hard fi... yuh kno... my vagina can't accommodate more than a finger... Down dere tense up an mi cyaa control it." With the way she struggles to make the disclosure it is evident that she finds this to be an extremely sensitive matter.

"Sounds like vaginismus," Gillian says when the news sinks in and I nod in agreement.

"Yeah, a dat di doctor seh when mi go dis mawnin," Marsha sighs.

"Why yuh jus a get it checked? Yuh shoulda do dat long time," I say.

"It nuh dat easy enuh. Mi did feel abnormal and honestly, mi neva comfortable wid someone examining it," she reveals.

"Did Professor Shitup have anything to do with that?" asks Gillian after a pause.

She nods then says, "Dats where it coming from. Mi remember it and clam up every time somebody try to touch me there."

Gillian and I look at her attentively as she tells us that she really feels a connection with Ethan and wants to take things all the way on his next visit, so she is eager to get her condition under control.

"The doctor recommends masturbation and suggest that I learn what I like and try some relaxation techniques. Mi need oonu advice on dat," she says.

"I don't think you should rush sex with Ethan. Dat only going to add pressure and might mek it worse," says Gillian.

"True, just work on getting your the relaxation part for now. Probably watch some porn or read a few eroticas to get in the groove of things," I add.

"Porn mek mi tense up. Seeing the penetration scares me. Mi prefer read," she says.

"Alright then. I have a few books I can email to you," I tell her and she smiles. "Have you ever touched yourself though?" 

"Yea...it wasn't bad wid one finger but when mi try two it did hurt."

"So yuh mean to tell me that you and Ethan have never done anything?" Gillian asks. "What does he have to say?"

Marsha shares that she told Ethan that she doesn't believe she can have sex and they've both engaged in oral sex and he also used his fingers, which wasn't too bad, but when he tried to insert his penis it was impossible. He isn't worried and believes that in time she'll learn to relax with him and they'll have the most amazing sex, she says.

"Awwww, he's so sweet and supportive," I gush, causing Marsha to blush.

"Did anyone else ever try fingering you?" Gillian prods.

"Big Daddy try couple times but it was di same thing. Jus one finger and it was a struggle so him stop."

"Den how oonu together fi so long?" I wonder out loud.

Marsha shrugs. "This stays between us," she looks between me and Gillian, and we both nod.

"He likes being pegged," she says, covering her face shyly as Gillian and I start squealing with laughter. When we calm down, she tells us that outside of that she would help him find women he could have sex with.

"So why yuh stay in a dat? Mi nuh understand," Gillian says in a judgmental tone.

"A you mek mi get involved wid Big Daddy in di first place," Marsha barks at Gillian, adding, "but den him help mi out wid mi school fees and di business."

"Me??? How mi mek yuh deh wid him?"

"Yuh memba dutty Dwayne weh nearly kill yuh raas wid lik?! Yuh tink him did jus disappear so?!" Marsha says, half shouting from annoyance.

Gillian can be oblivious sometimes to the things happening around her. While Ricardo was her childhood sweetheart, they weren't always in a relationship. They only reunited when we were in our final year at university.

Prior to that, she dated a gun-toting thug from her community named Dwayne. As innocent as she acts, we know that she has a thing for bad boys but her experience with that criminal must have changed her because Ricardo is an angel compared to him.

In our first year at university, Dwayne approached her one day while she was at the bus stop and offered her a ride to school. The thrill and excitement of his lifestyle must have gotten to her because no matter how Marsha and I warned her she would not leave him alone.

Eventually, he started to hurt her physically. She hid the bruises from us until she could no more. A busted lip and a black eye were hard to conceal despite the makeup she used and she broke down and told us what he had done. The piece of shit also threatened to kill her if she left him.

Around that same time, Big Daddy, who was the Member of Parliament for the constituency in which we lived, had taken an interest in Marsha but she always said she could never date a "big belly man". Knowing the power he wielded and his influence in the gang, she cozied up to him after Gillian opened up to us and soon after that Dwayne disappeared.

"I- I- I...," Gillian stutters, unable to find words to speak.

"Yeah... mi couldn sidung and mek di dutty drancro kill yuh off when mi coulda do sumn. Altho yuh did damn ears hard to," Marsha sneers, rolling her eyes at Gillian.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. What did Big Daddy do?" Gillian says after a moment of silence.

"Mi never ask enuh. Mi jus explain a situation to him and den him tell mi seh him fix tings. Mi did too glad di problem solve fi ask him how. And you are welcome by the," she says.

Marsha's revelation drums up a portion of Gillian's history that she buried a long time ago. The mention of it causes her to break down in tears. She quickly gets a grips on it with me consoling her and again apologizes to Marsha and thanks her.

We relax into casual conversation when I remember that Chaunard plans on coming over. The moment I'm about to tell them that I'm expecting him, I hear his car pulling into the driveway. "That's Chaunard," I tell them when they both turn to me looking uneasy.