Peeling Back the Top Layer 🇯🇲

51| Benefit of the doubt

I should be screaming at him, throwing punches, hating him, hurting him. Yet, when I reach for the pent-up anger from his presumed betrayal there's nothing.

Instead, I can't get into his arms quickly enough and when I get there I hang on for dear life. There really is no place like home.

"Shhhhhh," he says, holding me tightly. My sniffles pull my attention to the fact that I've started crying again. This time, I don't even know where the tears came from and why they're flowing unhindered.

"Steven killed himself," I sob, my face buried in his chest.

"I know. Yuh alright? How yuh feeling?"

"I'm good. I don't know why I'm crying though," I confess. He chuckles but pulls me tighter before leading me into the living room where we sit side-by-side but he doesn't release me.

"How yuh know bout Steven?"

He scoffs amidst another chuckle. "Marsha call and bad mi up. Seh yuh need mi and mi mus come home."

"So yuh answer Marsha call but not mine? If she never call and tell yuh dat yuh wouldn come home?" I ask, irritation at an all time high.

"Easy nuh babes. She called when I was outside parking the car. Mi did already reach home."

"But still— "

"Mi did upset wid yuh," he cuts me off. "I needed space to clear my head. That's why mi nuh answer yuh."

"Please don't do that to me ever again. At least reply with a text. Yuh mek Toni affi text mi fi tell mi not to worry."

"Okay. Sorry about that. It won't happen again but don't ever compare mi to mi wutliss father again. And next time somebody accuse mi of sumn give me the benefit of the doubt. Hear mi out first before yuh chew off mi head."

"Deal. I'm sorry for how I reacted and I'm ready to hear what happened now."

He takes a deep breath and reangles his body so that my back is now flush against his chest.

"Remember when I told you that my first girlfriend cheated with a policeman?"

"Yeah. Was that Tracey?"

"Yup. She same one. We reconnected a few months before I met you. Just as friends at first but she keep on a push mi buttons. Tell me how she and har policeman nah work out and she sorry mi and har lef and all kinda crap.

"Mi never too pay much attention to har at first but it seem like she did really need a friend. She used to call mi and cry bout stuff weh a bother har and so forth.

"It gwaan till we start hangout, mostly after work pon a Friday night. Come to think of it now, she used to jus come chill wid me and Marco dem wherever we deh. Di day now when mi did roun a your place, dat same time when you and yuh ex fall out, was di same day mi decide fi cut her off.

"She did call and beg mi pick har up from work, which wasn't the first time. Sometimes mi wi tell har mi busy but dah day deh mi did idle and no have nutten fi do so mi agree fi do it. She claim she jus waa talk so we go dis likkle lounge go have some drinks and chill. Mi listen to har chat har usual crap an a seh she waa me an har fi link back.

"Mi tell har mi nuh really a feel dat vibe anymore and she still a push. When we inna di car a drive go har yard she start to a feel mi up and my dick it go get up mek she think sumn can gwaan. Next thing mi know, she pull out di boy and start gimme head."

Chaunard is here telling me how his ex gave him head while driving and I'm getting hot and bothered. It's such a turn on. What the fuck is wrong with me?