Helen McCrory one shots

Not a single thing could ruin this moment, not a single thing - Polly Gray

You were involved in a car accident a few months back and lost majority of your physical ability in particular the ability to walk more than a few feet at a time.

"I..I.. I don't think I can.." you admit shakily, running a hand through your hand and sighing. "I just..I..I don't know, I don't think that it's physically possible."

Polly studied you for a time, her thumb rubbing absentminded circles on your palm. "Love I know it seems impossible but we've got to try."

She was right, she was always right but that fact didn't stop the dread from filling your insides. You hadn't walked more than the few steps it took you to get from your bed to the bathroom and back in months, even that was difficult and involved the use of a cane and an overwhelming exhaustion after completing the necessity that was going to the bathroom.

She brought your hand to her lips and gave it a soft kiss, "we must try darling"

You nodded and swung your legs stiffly off the side of the bed, Polly rose and moved to your side of the bed to offer you your cane and her hand once more.

"Thanks" you murmur as you stand, a sharp pain shots up through your right leg to the base of your spine. You take a shaky inhale at the sensation and Polly removes her hand from yours opting instead to wrap her arm around your waist to steady you.

You take a small step in the direction of the bedroom door which if you're being honest isn't more than an awkward shuffle. As you both make it to the doorway you lean against it to catch your breath.

Polly's hand rubs reassuring circles on the small of your back, "you're doing so well my love." She places a soft kiss on your temple.

You stand from your leaning position against the doorway and continue shuffling down the hall until you reach the beginnings of the staircase. The staircase was narrow which meant that you and Polly wouldn't be able to walk side by side any longer.

"Let me go first." She says seemingly to have read your thoughts, "I'll only be a step ahead of you."

You nod and she unhooks her arm from your waist and takes your hand like she had earlier. She steps down slowly allowing you the time adequate to keep up.
Going down the stairs was a nightmare. The shooting pain encompassed every inch of you and it was enough to completely take your breath away, you'd made it down three steps before you squeezed Polly's hand to let her know you needed a break.

She turned to face you and leant herself against the sturdy railing before leaning you against her front and massaging your shoulders. She murmured words of encouragement into your hair.

After a few minutes the pain had dulled enough that you could keep going and so the slow paced descend continued on. As you made it to the landing a small tear escaped your eye sliding down your cheek. This was the first time in months you'd been down here. It was the same as it had been if not more cluttered than it's usual state. The runner against the walls held haphazardly stacked sheets of paper and every inch of space on the kitchen counter held a variety of utensils, plates and appliances that Polly mustn't have had the energy to pack away.
The flowers by the window had seen better days, the pink petals held the beginnings of browning and the stem had begun to droop.

Polly guided you to the living room and sat you down on the lounge before sitting beside you.
"How do you feel?" She asks.

"Like death himself has taken a sledgehammer to all of my joints" you murmur.

She softly pulls you into her arms, afraid to cause you any more pain and begins to play with your hair, running her fingers through it and humming a tune you couldn't quite place. You curled up into her embrace.

After maybe ten minutes you say, "pol, I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry my love?" She asks.

"I've left you to run our home alone and to work extra hours in order to make up for my lack of wage these past few months. I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault sweetheart."

"But it is" you insist, "if I hadn't been driving that night none of this would've happened, if I had just stayed here to clear my head rather than fleeing the moment conflict arose"

"Y/n y/l/n look at me" she says, you look up at her so she continues. "It is not your fault that drunk imbecile was on the road that night"

"But if I had just stayed here, if I hadn't gone that night none of this would've happened"

"But you did and we can't change the past so there's no point dwelling on it" she says matter of factly, her tone suggesting that the conversation was over but you were stubborn and if she didn't want to take that approach to conversation you'd find another.

"Polly you don't have to do this" you say finally, sitting up from her embrace and leaning against the arm of the lounge.

"Do what?" She asks.

"To stay with me, I know after our argument that night that you were going to break up with me but now given my predicament you feel stuck."

She looks at you hurt clouding her gaze "I..I.." she trails off not sure what to say.

"Pol I get it I don't blame you, I'm not the easiest person to live with when I'm fit and functioning let alone now. I'm stubborn and I'm frustrating and I'm arrogant and selfish, you deserve better Pol, you always have."

She looks at you not saying anything for awhile. "I wasn't going to break up with you that evening, you know? I was frustrated because I had been planning to propose to you but you had come home late from work without so much as a call, I was frustrated so the moment you walked in the door I picked a fight with you. I said things I didn't mean and I hadn't thought to ask if you were alright, if there was a reason you were late. You'd been home late every night that week but you had promised me you wouldn't be that night. You promised me you'd be home on time." A few tears welled up in her eyes but she blinked them away and continued on "you may be stubborn, you were right about that but you are not one to break your promises. You never have been, I should've known there was something more to it than I had thought but instead I lashed out and I feel terrible every waking moment of everyday for it because if I hadn't, If I had just asked you what had happened you would still be well and fine." She shrugged and the tears now feel freely from her eyes.

You leant over and wiped the tears from her eyes, you pulled her to your chest and she buried her face in your neck, sobbing softly. You rubbed reassuring circles on her back and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you Polly Gray so very much, more than I can put into words. Thank you for being by my side throughout all of this." You say as her sobs turns to sniffles.

She pulls back to look at you. "I love you too y/n."

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Later that night , when you're both back in bed after an exhausting walk back to your shared bedroom, she asks "what would you have said?"

You raise a brow in questioning. Confusion evident on your face.

"If I had asked you to marry me that night" she explains

"I would've said yes without a moments hesitation Polly." You tell the woman by your side.

A small smile creeps onto her face, she turns to the bedside table and rummages through a drawer until she finds what she was looking for.

She pulls out a small ring box and opens its to you "y/n will you marry me?"

"Nothing would make me happier" you admit tears welling in your eyes. She grins at you and you grin back.

taking your hand she slips the ring onto your finger and says "I'm sorry, this is not nearly as romantic as the way I'd planned to ask you."

"Shh... it's absolutely perfect sweetheart" you say, you lean toward and kiss her. She kisses you back and you both break free after a few moments. She hums softly as your foreheads press together.

You look at her, taking in every single inch of her. She was perfect, she was yours and you were hers, not a single thing could ruin this moment. Not a single thing at all.