Jester (MxM) ✔

37) s i b l i n g s

Benjamin knew how big of a risk they had taken coming there. Yet the moment the elder couple — who Benjamin knew without saying to be Eli's parents — walked past them ignoring Eli altogether, he truly realized how badly things could go wrong. 

Benjamin turned to look after them, scowling and wanting to chide at them. What did it matter if Eli was gay? Was that supposed to be enough of a reason to make him feel like he was unworthy and inadequate? Had he not suffered enough?

A strangled sound, something between cry and yelp, coming from Eli's direction made Benjamin turn his gaze from the receding forms of the elder couple. The sound came deep from Eli's throat, and there was only one way to describe it: it was the sound of heartbreak. His eyes were dry, but color had drained from his face, making him look like any second he could collapse to the ground.

"I'm sorry." Benjamin pulled Eli in an embrace, half to give him comfort and half to keep him from falling on his knees. Eli didn't hug him back, but he buried his face on the crook of Benjamin's neck. His breathing was shallow and he was trembling all over, but there still was no sign of tears.

"I'm so sorry. I really thought.." Benjamin's voice trailed off when Eli took a deep breath and backed away from the embrace. 

"This used to be my home." Eli walked past Benjamin, pointing at one of the detached houses in the street. The cheerful tone he used was as fake as the smile on his lips.

"Eli, hold on.."

"It's fine, Benjamin. It's not a big deal." Eli smiled at Benjamin's direction, but didn't meet his gaze. He just continued walking until they had moved past Eli's childhood home and come to the end of the street. 

"Eli —" Benjamin was just about to reach for Eli, when Eli crouched down and gagged. Nothing came out and he gagged again, clutching his stomach and shaking. 

"I just need to sit down for a moment." Eli mumbled and slumped to sit on the pavement. He lit another cigarette while Benjamin sat down next to him. 

Benjamin could already see how all the process they had made was crumbling to the ground and how they would have to start from square one. And really, who could they blame for it if not Benjamin? It had been his idea to come back and he had kept insisting even when Eli told him it was too risky.

"What are we doing here?" Eli breathed defeatedly, like he had been reading Benjamin's mind. "I told you they don't want to see me. I was dead to them the moment I walked out of that door."

Eli's gaze was distant and Benjamin could already feel him shutting in, building walls between himself and the surrounding world. Benjamin wanted to pull him back, to keep him from slipping out of reach.

"I'm sorry, I really thought this was going to work." Benjamin apologised again. 

Eli didn't answer, he just continued smoking and staring in front of him with that same blank look in his eyes. He didn't shake anymore and his breathing had slowed down. He looked completely fine, just miles away, which was somehow even worse than having him breaking down and crying. 

"Let's go back to the hotel. I'm tired." Eli said then, getting up from the pavement. Benjamin followed after him, his shoulders slumped and head hung low. He had only wanted to help, and somehow he had ended up making everything worse.

"Elijah!" And then, when it all started to seem bleak and hopeless, a woman in her late twenties cried out and ran towards them from one of the well-kept yards. She threw herself on Eli and wrapped her skinny arms around him. Eli gasped and nearly stumbled, taking a few staggering steps backwards. 

"Elijah, Elijah, Elijah.." The woman cried, her hands reaching to Eli's hair and down his shoulders like she was trying to find out if he really was there and tangible. "My sweet baby brother, is it really you?" 

"Prisca." That was all Eli managed to get out of his mouth, before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on the ground with him when his legs gave away under him. 

Benjamin watched them wordlessly, realizing the magnitude of the moment. Eli started crying while Prisca held him even closer and kept repeating the words "baby brother" and "Elijah". Tears were running down her cheeks, and Benjamin couldn't tell how long they stayed on the ground holding each other like their lives depended on it. 

Eventually Prisca stood up and helped Eli on his feet. Only then she seemed to realize they weren't alone. 

"Hi, I'm Benjamin." Benjamin hesitantly offered his hand, but instead of a handshake, she hugged him tightly. She was rather tall, almost as tall as Benjamin and had the same hazel eyes and high cheekbones as Eli did. Her light brown hair was tied in a long braid and she wasn't wearing makeup or jewelry, giving away an unpretentious impression. Yet she was beautiful, just like Eli. 

"You found someone. I'm glad, so glad.." Prisca embraced Eli again and bursted into tears. It was Eli's turn to comfort her, and it took a long while before she could pull herself together. Then she started smiling and let out a teary yet delighted laughter: "It's really you." 

"Yes." Eli joined the laughter, relief evident from his voice. The sight of them, finally finding each other after all these years, filled Benjamin's heart with warmth as a smile tugged up the corners of his mouth. Maybe coming there wasn't as terrible a mistake as he had thought only a moment ago.

"Prisca, this is Benjamin, my boyfriend. And Benjamin, this is Prisca, my youngest big sister." Eli was beaming, even though the tears hadn't yet tried on his cheeks, when he introduced the two. 

"We have so much to talk about." Prisca pointed out, her dimples popping out when an askew smile spread on her lips.

••••

I felt kind of bad for the previous cliffhanger.. this story truly is an emotional rollercoaster, isn't it?