Second Chances: The Return of Gollum

Chapter 37

That night, while I was in the shower, getting ready for bed, Gollum sat in his room, looking out the window with his hands folded in prayer. "God... I don't deserves forgiveness; I knows. But... I hurts so many people back home. So much pain I caused nice hobbitses when they already had enough of their own." He sighed heavily. "If I could do it all again, I wouldn't have tried to eats poor Bagginses. I would've helpsed him, just as he asked me to do. So hungry I was, desperate, Precious, but Bagginses did not deserves to be eaten, did not deserves to be hurt at all. And, Samwise... so hateful I was to him. Every right he hads to treat me the way he did. He was only protecting his Precious, Master. I understands that, as I would do anything to protect my new friends. And, poor Master... he did not betray us. He saved us. Nasty rangerses hurts us... but in time, I hopes I can forgives them, just as I hopes I can forgives orcses, elveses, Faramir, and... even Sauron. But, Master, I do not forgives him, as he did nothing wrong, Precious. He was kind to us, and I forced poor Sméagol to hurts him, all for a wretched, nasty, filthy piece of golden rubbish. Yes, God, I understands that I do not deserves forgiveness, not after everything I've done." Tears formed in his eyes, and he began to cry. "But... please, bless everyone in Middle Earths, Precious. Bless them all with my love, your love, and I hopes they knows how sorry I am. And, God? Please forgive me for all my sins. Amen, Precious." With that, he crawled into bed, curled up under the covers, and drifted off to sleep.

Little did he know that Sméagol was standing right outside the door, listening to his prayer. Sméagol made his way back to our room, sat on our bed, and looked out the window with his hands folded in prayer and tears rolling down his cheeks. "God, my poor Gollum is hurting, still tormented by his past he is. Please grant him the peace of mind and happiness he deserves. None of it was his fault. Sméagol knows, but he still blames himself for everything. I understands, because I do, too. But, he doesn't believes he deserves forgiveness or love or joy... or even to live," he wept. "It hurts Sméagol to see him suffering so cruelly. He does not deserves such anguish. He does deserves love. He does deserves joy. He does deserves to live, and yes, he does deserves forgiveness. All good he deserves, nothing bad. Please grant him peace. Sméagol wants to see his friend happy. Amen, my precious Lord."

As Sméagol turned away from the window, he saw me standing in the doorway, listening to his prayer. "Hi, my precious," he greeted sweetly.

I smiled awkwardly. "Hi." I tiptoed in, and sat next to him on the bed.

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it. It was really nice."

"I meansed it."

"I know you did. I want the same thing for him. I hate that he's still torturing himself."

"Me, too, Precious."

"But, I guess I understand, because the ring had an even bigger effect on him than it did you."

Sméagol nodded. "It did, yes, much bigger."

"Man, Sauron is such a piece of shit. He's dead, and he's still torturing Gollum from the grave. Does he have nothing better to do, like maybe, I don't know, fucking himself with his own stupid ring? Oh, that's right. He can't use it as a cock ring since he doesn't even have one."

Sméagol burst out laughing. "Precious!" he teased.

I snickered. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"Silly, silly, silly." He tickled my neck.

I giggled.

He giggled, too, and smiled sweetly at me. "You're so cute; you knows that?"

I beamed at him. "You're cuter."

"No, you're cuter."

"No, you are."

"No, you, Precious."

"Nope, you."

"Nope, you infinity!" Sméagol laughed mischievously.

I smirked. "You got me."

"Yes, Sméagol beats silly Cheyenne." He faked an evil laugh.

I giggled like a schoolgirl. "That evil laugh is so freaking cute."

Sméagol giggled sweetly and kissed my lips. "Sméagol loves you," he whispered.

"Cheyenne loves you," I whispered back.

Sméagol grinned.

"No, but seriously, I really wish Gollum could find the peace of mind he deserves. You know, you're right. All this pain and crap he's feeling, he really doesn't deserve it."

"No," Sméagol agreed, "he doesn't, no."

I sighed heavily. "He's a really good guy."

"He is, yes. Very good, Precious."

"I'm glad he's my friend. Honestly, he's a better friend to me than Abby ever was."

Sméagol hugged me. "Sméagol so happy to hear that. Abby hurt you so much; I knows."

"Yeah, she did, but honestly, I felt like she always wanted to leave."

"What's it saying?"

"Like, she had one foot out the door from the beginning. I feel like she only became my friend, because she felt obligated, not because she wanted to. I was the poor disabled girl with 'no friends,' so she decided to fill that role. Like, I was nothing more than a charity case to her."

"Awwwwww." Sméagol put his arm around me.

"But, with Gollum, I don't feel that way. It feels like he actually wants me around, despite all my issues."

"Yes. Yes, he does, Precious. You are not a charity case to him, not at all. Your friendship means everything to him." He held me closer. "And, you are not a charity case to Sméagol, either. No, Sméagol needs you." He kissed my lips again. "Sméagol loves you so much."

"I love you, too, Sméagol, so freaking much."