Idiots ; Adrian Chase

Chapter 1

I was currently squatting behind a trash can next to Vigilante. I have no idea how he convinced me to spy on Peacemaker with him, yet here we are. Vigilante was not so discreetly peeking around to see what his "best friend" was up to.

"Who is that peeking out behind the trash can?" I heard someone ask.

"Shit," Vigilante muttered. I gave him a death glare that he chose not to acknowledge.

"Hey! Get out of here!" We hear Peacemaker yell.

Vigilante stepped out and I reluctantly followed suit.

"What? I'm just peeking out from behind a trash can. It's a normal thing to do."

"The hell it is. And who is she?" Asked Harcourt.

"Are you a psychiatrist?" Vigilante argued, ignoring her question.

"What?"

"Then don't tell me what's normal! Maybe my secret identity is a psychiatrist and I know what's normal."

I couldn't help but smack my forehead at what was currently happening. We started to walk away when Vigilante turned around to bicker some more with Harcourt. While they were doing that, Peacemaker and I exchanged smiles and waves. He then quickly interjected into the argument knowing Vigilante meant well.

"If one of them does become a friend, it should be her, because there's a bunch of rumors going around about you being racist, and, you know, frankly, it's a little embarrassing for me. As if I become a racist by osmosis, even though I mostly kill white people, so... Catch you guys later," Vigilante finished. We turned around and he grabbed my waist as we finally walked away from whatever just happened.

"Aren't they wanted for multiple accounts of murder?" I heard someone ask and I giggled a bit.

—

I was, once again, crouching behind something with Vigilante to spy on Peacemaker. This time, it was behind some bushes while the team was on a stake out. I still have no idea how he talks me into his ridiculous ideas. Once he noticed Peacemaker was by himself, Vigilante called out to get his attention.

"Hey, dude. That was a really interesting conversation you guys had."

I snickered and listened to their conversation. After a minute, we heard footsteps and he lept back to our hiding place. Peacemaker sighed and announced he knew we were there. Though, of course, Vigilante tried to argue and convince everyone he was a talking bush, we both shamefully stepped out from behind the bushes.

Since we were there, we helped with their stake out. We quickly learned that the whole family were butterflies, whatever that meant. Peacemaker was ordered to terminate them all immediately, though he hesitated. After a moment, I started to stand up to take his place but Vigilante beat me to it. He took Peacemaker's place behind the gun and started to kill the family. He was successful with the wife and children, but was attacked before he could get the father. It was announced that it was Judomaster who attacked us and we started our fight.

Vigilante was thrown to the ground. Harcourt was next, Judomaster attacked her and he went tumbling down the hill, leaving it three against one. Peacemaker and I decided to attack Judomaster at the same time, thinking it might confuse him. It did not. Peacemaker was the first to get thrown. Now it was my turn. I tried to fight him, but the next thing I knew, I was thrown against the nearest tree, slowly falling unconscious.

–

When I had awoken, the three of us were tied to chairs in some dirt basement. I was in the middle. Peacemaker to my left and Vigilante on the right. I watched as Judomaster was looking smug while eating Flaming Hot Cheetos. I heard Peacemaker say something but couldn't quite make out what it was due to my pounding headache. Judomaster then started flinging Cheetos at Peacemaker's eyes which was honestly quite amusing.

The guy I would later learn to be Goff entered the room. He made his way over to a metal cart which held jumper cables that were attached to something I couldn't quite make out from how I was situated. Goff took the other ends of the jumper cables and attached them to the crotch of Vigilante. That caught both of our attention. His mask was ripped off and he started to make random faces.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" I asked him, more aware of my surroundings now.

"If I keep changing my facial expressions, he won't be able to recognise me in a line up!"

I sigh at him while he continues making faces. I watch him in annoyance while Goff starts to interrogate Peacemaker. Suddenly, Goff flips a switch and Vigilante starts getting electrocuted. In the dick. I grimace. He screams in agony. I look away. Goff and Peacemaker go back and forth some more and Vigilante keeps getting electrocuted. Goff apparently got tired of that, as he removed one of Vigilante's shoes, grabbed a pair of garden shears and started to cut away at a pinky toe. Though there were more screams, my gut didn't churn as much this time. I still grimaced.

While I was distracted, Peacemaker broke free and started fighting Goff. When he got Goff down for a second, he cut my hands loose so I could help. Once Goff was taken care of, I immediately knelt down in between Vigilante's spread legs.

He smirked and said, "I like you in this position."

"Shut the fuck up," I laughed as I removed the jumper cables from his pants.

Peacemaker went to work untying his hands while I worked in his legs.

"What did you say your names were again?" Peacemaker asked us.

"Adrian," Vigilante said and you gave your name. "I need to put my mask back on in case they come down."

Peacemaker nodded and handed him his mask. I helped him stand up and before he was able to put his mask on, we noticed something weird happen to Goff's body. Something that looked like an actual butterfly emerged from the skull.

"What the fuck?"