Idiots ; Adrian Chase

Chapter 5

Adrian and I walked up to Peacemaker's trailer. He knocked on the door.

"Come in, Adrian," we heard Peacemaker say from the other side of the door. We walked in and I shut the door behind me.

"How'd you know it was me?" Adrian asked, offended.

"You knock in a very annoying way," Peacemaker told him. "Oh, hey," he looked behind Adrian to me. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither, man," I said, rubbing Adrian's shoulder since his friend offended him. We then heard a squeak coming from the counter. It was a butterfly. In a jar.

"Dude, you kept that thing?" Adrian asked.

"Yeah," Peacemaker said like it was super obvious.

"He tried to kill us and cut off half my toe."

"Ok, relax with the toe thing," I said.

"Yeah. Sometimes I think I'm just insecure in my masculinity so I'm making up for it by having a dangerous pet. You know, like those knuckle-dicks in Georgia with a tiger on a leash."

"Dude, my advice?" Adrian started. "Cut it out with the introspection. The mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards."

"Uhm, what is Goff doing?" I asked as the butterfly stuck its leg in the goo and started drawing on the glass. Peacemaker came over to pick up the jar as it finished drawing a peace sign.

"What the fuck?"

We gathered on the couch to try and communicate with it. Peacemaker put the jar on the coffee table and stuck himself between Adrian and I.

"Ok, Goff," Peacemaker said hesitantly. "One tap is yes and two taps is no. Do you understand?" Goff tapped the glass once.

"Ok, Goff. Is that a peace sign?" Goff tapped the glass once, again.

"Oo, Goff what's your favorite color?" Adrian asked, very excited.

"Dude," Peacemaker and I both said."It's a yes or no question. Peacemaker just said that," I said.

"Right, ok. Uh," Adrian thought for a second. "Is your favorite color teal?"

"Bro, what the fuck?" Peacemaker asked him as I smacked my forehead. The two of them argued back and forth some more about asking Goff his favorite color, along with Adrian getting yelled at for not asking a yes or no question.

"Two fucking rules. Two!" Peacemaker yelled at Adrian. "One, yes or no. Two, don't be a fucking moron."

"How am I supposed to follow the second one?"

"Maybe by shutting the fuck up!"

"Ok guys-" I started until I was cut off by the sound of Barbie Girl by Aqua coming from Adrian's phone.

"Who is this?" Adrian said, answering the call. "Vigilante? I don't know that person. Is that even a name? Sounds Italian. I'm an American so..."

Peacemaker grabbed the phone from him. "What's so urgent, Murn?" After a moment, he threw the phone back at Adrian and looked out the window. "Grab Goff," he told us. He then opened the skylight to let Eagly out first. Peacemaker was next. He effortlessly jumped onto the roof. I went after, him pulling me up. Next was Adrian, who was taping the jar with Goff around his hip. We both gave him the 'what the fuck are you doing' face.

"I'm taping Goff to me so I have both hands free," he told us. Peacemaker rolled his eyes and pulled Adrian onto the roof with us.

After making sure the cops didn't notice us, we huddled into a nearby tree. Eagly got distracted so Peacemaker tried to get his attention. After a few failed attempts, he whistled, which worked but also caught the attention of one of the detectives. Of course, she went into the woods to try and find us. When she was under the tree we were in, Adrian pulled out a knife. I grabbed his hand.

"Dude, she's a cop," I mouthed to him.

"A cock?" He mouthed back, confused.

"A cop," I whispered in his ear.

He sadly put his knife away. I patted his shoulder sympathetically knowing he really wanted to kill her.

"We gotta get the fuck out of here," Peacemaker said to us. We hopped over to the next tree, huddling on one branch. "Alright, where's your car?"

"We Ubered," Adrian said.

"Day off, thought we'd get wasted."

"Get what?"

Adrian started to mimic drinking until he leaned too far back and fell out of the tree and onto his back. In the tree, I could see the butterfly fly over to the detective and into her mouth. I gave Peacemaker a concerned look and we hopped out of the tree.

"Fuck," Peacemaker said as the three of us crouched around the detective's seizing body.

"They're here!" We heard a cop shout and ran away, into the woods.

We were running in the woods, Eagly flying above us. Cops started to find us. Eagly came to our rescue and pecked at their faces.

"Eagly is hardcore, man," Adrian said.

We ran some more until we came across a small clearing. One cop got us at a stand still until he got shot in the head.

"There's a car for you over that hill," a creepy looking cop told us. "Take it and get out of here."

We were incredibly hesitant, not knowing who he was, but decided we'd rather run than stay and get killed. There was a car parked on the side of the road so we got in. Eagly and I were in the back while Peacemaker drove and Adrian sat next to him. We were driving along the road, Eagly had his head in my lap and I stroked his head. Next thing I knew, Adrian was throwing a phone out of his window.

"What the fuck, dude?" Peacemaker said to him.

"They can track these things," Adrian told him. "'You're welcome, Vigilante, for saving my life'."

"It's a secure phone! They can't fucking track it!"

"Oh," Adrian sunk in his seat.

I ignored the rest of their conversation, going back to staring at Eagly and stroking his head. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Peacemaker shouted. "Why do you have your girlfriend's nudes open? And set as your background? You're a perv," He said to Adrian. He turned bright red. "You've got a nice rack, though," he turned to me to say.

"Thanks?" I said, not knowing how else to respond now that he's just seen pictures of me naked.

–

We finally arrived at HQ, all of us still a little flustered after the nudes situation. As soon as we walked through the door, we were hammered with questions. I was too overwhelmed to hear anything that was actually said. There was a lot of shouting and a lot of arguing. Economos calmly raised his hand which brought me back.

"I think I know where the raw amber fluid is coming from," he said. He proceeded to show us his findings using everything we brought back from other butterflies. Everything led back to a barn.