𝐘𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 || 𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞. 𝐔

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑

the operation was a success, I was successfully able to absorb the poison from her veins.

During the treatment I had Difficulty making decisions.

My mind was engulfed with negative thoughts, Drowning in my own fear of saving Mirai's life.

Now, my head feels clearer after completing the task.

"thank you (y/n) san.."

A smile appeared on my lips "you're welcome Mirai.."

Mirai seemed a little troubled. at first, I guessed she was simply exhausted after going through distressing pain, but I was wrong.

"I'm such a failure.." Mirai muttered as her eyes did not lift, not even for a second.

"you are not a failure Mirai.." I said placing my hand on her shoulder.

"yes, I am. if father was alive, he might have been so disappointed.."

"You're wrong, Asuma sensei would have been proud of his strong, skilled, and dutiful daughter."

"I don't have enough courage to become a great shinobi. "

"Courage is not about being completely fearless. It's about what we decide to do in the presence of fear. Courage can't exist without it. It needs it. It's the opposite side of the coin. you can look at the fear you've been feeling and see that the courage has always been within you.⁠ Allow your courage to set you up on a path of your greatest growth and development. Fear will always be part of the equation. But learning to work through it is one of the best practices there is.⁠"

I gently ruffled her hair "no matter how hard life gets, never quit on yourself and never give up. you are the daughter of two strongest Shinobi and granddaughter of lord third Hokage.. have faith in yourself kid.."

her eyes sparkled as a small smile appeared on her face. "you have a kind heart (y/n) san.."

"thank you and sorry I didn't mean to lecture you.." I replied smiling.

"it's alright. you inspired me to do better." Mirai giggle.

"three days rest and you'll be ready to run. I'll notify others..especially your Onii-san Shikamaru.. that man has been getting on my nerves since I started treatment. "

"Shikamaru Onii-san can be little..."

"overprotective...I know.." I laughed walking out of the room.

as I step out, Shikamaru jolt up from the seat " how is she doing?"

"good, I absorbed out every last bit of poison from her body"

Shikamaru takes a deep breath and nods.

"How are you feeling?" Shikamaru asks, lazily leaning against the wall.

"Exhausted," I said with a shaky breath.

" would you like to grab some coffee?"

"Thank you for the offer but no, I should probably head home," I replied sighing.

"Speaking of home, how's your boyfriend doing?"

"He's alright," I said walking past him.

"Why can't you leave him?"

As those words escaped his mouth I froze for a couple of seconds, my stomach began churning.

"What do you mean? Why would leave him?" I demand slightly frowning.

"He's toxic for you, (y/n).."

"Kai is not toxic, we're just going through a rough patch.."

"Rough patch? You have changed a lot in these passing years, it's like we don't even know you anymore-"
He said, sounding disapproving.

"I love him, Shikamaru.."

"Do I?"

"No, you don't. You're just scared to be alone. Does he make you happy-"

"Stop. I'm happy with him." I harshly interrupted him.

"You're such a bad liar..." Shikamaru mumbles bitterly.

"It's none of your business, Shikamaru."

"Why don't you leave him?" He yet repeats the same question.

I let out a tired chuckle "You probably think how could I be so stupid? Honestly, I got no one to blame but myself. I need to learn how to live with no one else but I'm too scared to be left alone and I suppose I'm too dependent."

"You're so stupid," Shikamaru rubs his nose bridge

"I know..." With that, I walked away.

The chilly gentle wind hits my face as I walk down the deserted street. The air was chilling, grasshoppers clicking in the dry air. an empty street with no souls nearby.

A moonlight delights heart and soul, shining like a lighthouse to guide me in the dark night.

Money. That's all he cares about.

Kai has never been supporting or encouraging, the spark has endured faint by passing time. I have realized that both have grown apart.

perhaps it's the desire of feeling loved, probably it was the desire of remedying loneliness that pulled me to Kai.

though I have him, life has been the same. I've constantly been confused by his behavior and sometimes feel like I deserve an apology that never comes.

but in every relationship. there's going to be fights, arguments, smiles, tears, up and down. Things said out in anger, attitude, and jealousy. but at the end of the day, if you truly love that person, you'll stick around through the good and bad right?

'I don't want to go home.'

My eyes stopped at the Hokage Rock.

a mountain overlooking Konoha that has all the faces of the Hokage carved into the stone. It was envisioned by Hashirama Senju as a symbol that the Hokage would always watch over the village.

"Perfect.."

reaching the top of the mountain, I sit down on the soiled ground.

The slight chill in the air is enough to give a gentle shiver, but not enough for the need of a jacket.

A breeze tickles the trees, making their leaves shake and sway with laughter.

There is a relaxing sensation of the mountains creating it perfect for letting the stress disappear and peace to find its way to one's soul.

the perfect place to get away from all of that and be the most relaxed.

Lonely.

People often assume that I am sad because I'm lonely and even though it seems like it, I'm not.

I think I'm sad because I'm getting comfortable with loneliness. The thought of being comfortable is scary.

Loneliness hits you like the death of a loved one,

Abruptly.

"What are you doing here?"