Creative Writing Mock

February Mocks

All changes are underlined and in bold.

Ashton hated being here. In a hospital. He hated the cold, white walls. He hated the sterile smell. He hated the silent chaos; and he despised that he was there hoping that his best friend was okay.

He shouldn't be in a hospital hoping that Lucien was okay- he should be hanging out with him- like they had planned - knowing that Luce was okay.

He hated it. Loathed it, even.

Ashton had received a call around three hours ago informing him of Lucien's hospitalisation due to a supposed car accident.

The consternation accompanying the call granted him the capacity to reach said nightmarish location -the hospital- within a time frame of 15 minutes.

Everytime he asked of his friend's condition, he was met with the same response-

"Sorry sir, family only."

The answer only achieving frustration and concern. For all he knows, Lucien could be watching a movie on his phone - barely a sprained wrist on him.

Unable to still his shaking leg, he stood up, pacing through the walls that only seemed to be getting smaller. The smell of antiseptic in the air, evading his senses, overwhelming him.

The wait was excruciating, the air of death only suffocating him.

Needing a breath of fresh air, Ashton dragged himself down the hall he'd been led through when he arrived, only to be stopped by a nurse.

"Excuse me, Ashton King?" the nurse questioned, unsure.

Whatever was left of Ash's composure had dissipated, the air left in his lungs following superficially, "Is Lucien okay?!" Ashton asked, voice dripping with desperation.
The nurse slowly spoke offering a calm smile, "He's asking for you. The doctor will be able to update you on his condition," sensing his agitation, she cuts her sentence short, "Room 319- down the hall."

The relief Ashton felt at the mention of Lucien's request was uncanny. Barely muttering a thank you, he rushed through the hallway, searching for the numbers "319".

He knocked at the door rapidly before barging into the room with a loud bash, situating himself near Lucien's bedside, opposite to where the doctor stood.

"Ashton, I presume?" the doctor states looking up towards him.

Rather than Ashton, Lucien responds, voice hoarse, "The one and only," a drooping smirk on his face.

Suddenly, all the emotions of panic, fear and worry turned into anger at Lucien's calm, "What the hell, Lucien?!" Ashton Speaks with a raised voice.
His worry for Luce was obvious, he just couldn't express it directly, at that moment.

Lucien just chuckled lowly in response with an expression that somehow represented a shrug.

They turned their attention to the doctor to allow his report, "As said previously, you really are a miracle case in this accident, Lucien, however, you still have quite the injuries on you. Although, I've already explained the extent of his injuries, I will summarise them for you, Ashton; Lucien has sustained 2 broken ribs; a broken arm, and quite a few wounds caused by the broken glass", now directing his words to Lucien, he continued, "There will be a police officer coming in to get your statement when you're feeling up to it."

Lucien looked at Ashton, a confounding look on his face, before mentioning that it'd be fine to do it now. As the doctor left, Lucien told Ashton that he'd already spoken to the police.

Although it was a strange occurence, they to brush it off as miscommunication and relished in each other's company instead.

Ashton was relieved. He couldn't endure the anticipation of the loss of someone he called his brother and now it was merely a ghost of a thought as lucien had resisted the glimmering arms of death.

An hour had passed before, a police officer had arrived. After introductions, he spoke in an authoritive voice, "We'll need your statement on the incident, Lucien." Ashton made his way to the door, allowing for privacy before he was stopped by the same voice, "We'll need yours too, Ashton."

Confused, he turned back. Lucien spoke with an unsettling tone to his voice, "He wasn't even there, plus, I've already given my statement at the scene."

The officer's stern face softened with a sigh, drawing out his phone, displaying an image.

A note.

A strange note.

The men glanced at each other, eyebrows furrowed.

"The other vehicle was empty upon searching it," sighing again, he continued;

"This wasn't an accident."

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So I'm making these changes the day before the exam because ✨procrastination✨ but uh yeah, I'll update the mark I got for it when I get my paper back :)

3 months late update: I got 32/40

T :)