Bad Friend

25. Caught

Harry had been gone for about three weeks and it was starting to show.

I was grumpier than usual, which was saying something; so much so that even Anisha was beginning to comment on it. Or not comment on it, I supposed. She didn't ask me as many questions when she shadowed me at the shop, she and Lena quieted whenever I came out of my workroom, and she always left without so much as saying she would see me tomorrow. I felt bad for being a little frostier than usual, but I couldn't help it. Missing Harry was hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. I missed his hugs and his forehead kisses, I missed waking up next to him and coming home to him every night, I missed...I missed everything about him. And from the texts, phone calls, and FaceTime dates we'd had almost every day, he missed me just as much.

Even the little things that annoyed me. The way his feet always seemed to be cold, how he'd pick the food off my plate even though he said he didn't want what I ordered when we were calling dinner in, how his hair sometimes tickled my nose or got in my mouth when we were cuddling, how he would leave my toothpaste open, even though the cap was literally attached to the tube. I missed all of those things, because even though he would leave his shoes on in the apartment instead of taking them off by the door or poke my cheek until I laughed at one of his particularly lame jokes, he was here. I would take all of that and more if it meant he could stay with me just a little longer.

Seeing and hearing from him while he was gone helped a lot, and it eased some of the lingering anxiety I still had about him leaving and not hearing anything from him, but I still felt his absence when I got ready for bed at night and fell asleep with just my dog in bed with me. Cher eased the blow of not seeing Harry all the time, of course. I took her for extra walks and I let her practically sprawl out on top of me when I watched TV on the couch. She seemed to pick up on my change in mood, too, and I had to give her extra treats during my shifts at the studio so she wouldn't growl at customers when they got too close.

I was in my workroom flipping through my sketchbook before my next appointment showed up when Anisha came in. She was in her usual pair of mom jeans and a cropped sweater, her hair tied up high on her head to show off the tattoo behind her ear I'd given her last week.

She had tentatively come into my workroom like she did just now, a piece of paper clutched between her fingers. She'd drawn, or doodled really, some stars and planets and asked if I would tattoo them on her. I agreed, and enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. It was a nice reprieve from some of the more complicated pieces I'd been doing lately, and I got to know Anisha better that night. She talked to me about her family and what she was studying in school and that she was fascinated by space, which was why she wanted that tattoo. I felt marginally better after that night, especially with Lena there to crack jokes and say the right things to get me to engage in conversation with the two of them.

Still, even after that night, I was considerably moody, enough that Anisha and Lena still gave me my space. I didn't want to be mean, but being unfriendly came easier to me than being friendly, and crawling back into myself when I felt upset was where I felt safest.

"Hey, Gwen?"

"What?" Noting the sharpness in my tone, I sighed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. Um, what's up, Anisha?"

Anisha blushed and stuck her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "That—That's okay. Lena mentioned something about you missing your boyfriend or something? I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, but I understand now why you've been...you know..."

Now it was my turn to feel embarrassed. I wasn't surprised that Lena had said something to Anisha, just glad that she didn't mention who my boyfriend was. After working with her for a few weeks, I didn't think she would go and tell everyone she knew, but I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. My relationship with Harry felt fragile, and I didn't want to risk a single thing messing it up; introducing people into it, telling people about it, felt like welcoming more chances for it to fall apart before it could really grow. I would become more comfortable with telling people, my friends, about it in time, just not yet.