Bad Friend

32. Lights, Camera...

I was sitting on a stool with an iPad in my hands, doing something I'd never thought I'd ever do.

A couple of days after the launch for Harry's magazine cover, I decided that I wanted to take the YouTube channel up on their offer to shoot a video for them. I exchanged a few emails with them first to get a better idea of what they wanted me to do exactly, and why they wanted me to do it. In the grand scheme of things, I was a fairly young tattoo artist, having only been doing it for a couple of years. I wouldn't downplay my talent, but I also know that there are a lot of really talented, and more experienced tattoo artists than myself, and some of them worked in the same tattoo studio as me. But according to the PR person that I'd been communicating with, that's what they were looking for, someone young, knowledgeable, and with a considerable following on social media, and apparently I had all three.

The last one was definitely thanks to Anisha. In between learning how to tattoo from me and helping Lena at the front of the shop, she'd been working hard on Hideo's social media pages. It was because of her that the shop's following increased; she followed everyone around the studio with her phone, taking pictures, asking questions, and videotaping us as we tattooed some particularly interesting pieces. And because she pretty much got me this opportunity, I decided to take her with me.

We drove up to Los Angeles early Friday morning to avoid traffic and enjoy our little day off before we had to find the building where we'd be filming. Things were slightly awkward at first, seeing as we never spent time together outside of the studio, but after we both ate a quick breakfast, we walked around and did a little window shopping. By the time it was time for us to head to the studio, we were less awkward around each other, and I'd managed to laugh a few times at the little jokes she made.

I could see her behind the cameras set up in front of me, practically buzzing with excitement. When I told Anisha about the email I received from the channel, Wired, she was ecstatic. I had no idea, but apparently they were kind of a big deal. The day I told her, she sat me down between sessions with customers and had me watch some of their videos—celebrities answering questions from Google, professionals answering questions from Twitter about their craft, and other things like that. I recognized some of them, and felt myself getting a little excited for the video I was supposed to film.

Emphasis on felt. Now that I was here in front of a bunch of cameras, I was incredibly nervous. I was worried about saying the wrong thing, of being too brutal or not funny enough or enough of what the producers wanted; I worried about what people would think of me once the video was released and if I picked the right thing to wear. I wanted to look nice, but I also wanted to be comfortable because I knew how nervous I would be, so I went with a pair of striped overalls with my favorite pair of boots and fishnet socks. My hair was tied up into two buns on the top of my head, my makeup was done—though the people at the studio touched me up so I wouldn't look shiny on camera—and I thought I looked pretty good. Just to be sure, I sent a picture to Harry, wanting to get his opinion, to which he replied with ample praise.

Chandler Bing: You look hot, baby. Wish I could be there with youuu xx.

I wished Harry could be with me too, but I understood why he couldn't. For one, it wouldn't be a risk worth taking to have him here when we were supposed to only be friends. And Harry had work of his own to do across town today, so while he wanted to be around and there for me, he couldn't.

"Okay, Gwen, you ready?"

The buzz in the studio came to a stop, and suddenly it felt like everyone's attention was on me. For a moment I froze, but when my name was called again, I took a deep breath and nodded my head silently, smiling a little at Anisha's big grin and accompanying thumbs up.