Bad Friend

30- Round Two

H.

Pretending to be just friends was something I agreed to, but at times like this I absolutely hated it.

After months and months of being apart, of only seeing each other for a few days sprinkled in between, Gwen and I were back together again. For a short while, at least. These past few months without her have felt like years. Being incredibly busy helped, but it felt so good to be in her arms again. Or at least it did, now we were at a party and I had to pretend that I didn't want to take her somewhere no one would be able to hear us.

It had taken some convincing on my part to get her to come to another one of my "stuffy Hollywood parties," as G liked to put it. After the last one, she was the opposite of eager, and while I didn't blame her, I was also itching to take her on a date. It wasn't ideal seeing as we wouldn't actually be able to act like a couple, but I wanted to take her out after having not done so in a long time. It took a lot of convincing, and a lot of kissing, and she eventually agreed.

We made a day out of it by driving up the coast in my car, holding hands over the middle console and catching each other up on everything we might have missed in our hundreds of phone calls and text messages. Filming the movie, going to Jamaica to write, and everything in between was fun and exciting, but when I walked up the familiar steps to G's apartment, it felt like some part of me that I didn't even know was missing finally settled back into place. I felt whole again. I'd made a little home away from home out of Gwen, Cher, and the apartment, and it felt good to be back after so much craziness.

It was October, but the drive to Los Angeles was full of clear blue skies and warm wind blowing through Gwen's dark hair; and Cher's, who was sitting in the back seat on a towel, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth as she took in the scenery that passed us by. Before we left, Gwen told me that Lena was more than happy to watch her dog, but I shook her off. "I missed her too," was all I said, eager to surprise her with all the treats, food, toys, and dog bowls I bought to keep at my place. I wanted G to feel like both her and Cher were more than welcome to stay with me; her dog was one of the reasons that she couldn't travel very much, so if I could make things easier for us, I would.

Cher was back at my place now while G and I were at a club that had been rented out for the launch of a magazine cover I did a shoot for last month; though we almost didn't make it after I saw what Gwen changed into. The minute I saw her in her little black dress that I was also pretty sure was a nightgown, lace adorning the bust of the dress and revealing what I preferred be for my eyes only, I pulled her back upstairs, gently removing the dress/nightgown and roughly pushing her up against the wall of my bedroom. I arrived late to my own party, but I didn't even care; she looked angelic with her hair pulled back into two buns at the nape of her neck and almost all of her tattoos on display.

And she knew what she was doing, too. All night if we happened to not be next together—which was significantly less than the last time we'd gone to a party—she'd give me this look. It was this half smile, half smirk that said she knew every thought that crossed my mind, that she was the only thought that crossed my mind. She had me nearly weak at the knees. It was almost like she was paying me back for the last time we were at an event like this.

All night we played this game of cat and mouse—she'd let me catch her, but only for a few minutes before she slipped away from me and disappeared into the crowd, and because I was in the middle of a conversation, I couldn't follow her like I wanted to. When I managed to get close to her again, though, that smile was on G's face, like she'd been waiting to see how long it took for me to reach her. It was fun and a little exciting to have to subtly chase her around the club without letting anyone realize that I was completely wrapped around her finger, but it was also beginning to fray on my common sense. I worried that before long, I would drag her into a bathroom stall and blow everything we'd kept hidden for nine months while she was blowing me.