Light at the end of a tunnel

Ten- Cut (HOPES POV)

Hopes POV

I was not exactly sure what death would be like but whatever it was, I waited for it.

I waited for the pain.

I waited for it all to just go away, I waited for myself to go away.

However none of that happened, in fact the opposite happened and the only pain I felt came from my head and wrist. But that wasn't near enough for me. Then suddenly I felt weak and fell down on the hot gravel and that was all I remember before blacking out.

My eyes slowly began opening and thought for sure I was dreaming. Was I really on my favorite bands tour bus? No. I had to be dreaming, maybe this was some kind of paradise for people before they died. Was that even possible? Wait. I was not dead. Memories flooded my head and I sighed, feeling aggravated and  a little bit of relief. Then I thought of Mom and Austin. They were going to kill me, but that's always how I thought I would die anyways. But the awful memories did not quit there. Oh no, I suddenly remembered everything. Mom giving up on me, Austin beating me, Uncle JR dying, and Josh. Every horrid thing in my life raced through my brain and I hated it. I felt like yelling and as more memories hit me, I did. I curled up in a ball and rocked myself back and fourth, trying to calm myself down but it was pointless. 

"Hey.. it's okay. You're okay now.", I heard someone say but it didn't help. I took a few deep breathes and told myself that I was okay and I had to calm down. Thankfully it somehow manged to work.

Justin looked at me and smiled sympathetically as he handed me a bottle of water

"Thanks.", I mumbled happily taking the water.

"What's your name?"

"Uhh.. H.. Hope"

"I'm Justin and that's Kellin and Jack and Nick and Gabe.", he said introducing the band.

"I think we should bandage your cuts.", Kellin announced looking at my wrists. He had a point, one cut on my wrist looked like it was turning infected. I began to feel uncomfortable so I stayed silent, which was my side effect of being uncomfortable.

"I'm not trying to make you.. uncomfortable.. It just looks really bad."

He had another point, the cut did look bad maybe even swollen.

I nodded.

"I'll get the first aid-kit."

Gabe returned with the first aid kit and handed it to Kellin. Kellin took out some cream and soothed it on the cut, making it sting.

"That should stop it from being infected or getting any worse"

I nodded at him.

"And we'll put a band-aid on it so you can't get anything in it."

I smiled, "thank you"

A few hours later, I was playing Rummy with Jack and Gabe and I wondered what was I doing? What about Mom and Austin? They had to be freaking out right now. I had ran away twice before and it never ended good. Austin always found me and my life was living hell for weeks because of it. I could not drag people into my messed up life and I couldn't get close to anyone because if I did, it was bound to end badly. After my turn in the game, I excused myself and went to the kitchen for a water. I un-screwed the cap with a sigh.

"When does uhh.. the bus stop?", I asked Kellin as he entered the kitchen.

"A few hours."

I looked down at my wrist then back up at him and realized he too was looking at my wrist.

"Why?", he asked.

"Because I have to go home."

"You have to?"

"Yes."

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing."

"Something did I-"

I interrupted him, "nothing happened to me, okay? I'm fine. And when this bus stops, I'm going home and you guys can forget this ever happened."

And with that, I walked back out of the kitchen and had a seat on the couch, telling myself I did what I had to, but that did not make me feel any better.