𝖂𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝕹𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗|| Porco Galliard

II: Fake Hoes

~Fuck this gc~

Reiner:
How did the date go?

Pieck:
Oh, yes. I'm curious

Marcel:
I'm sure it went well

Colt:
I don't know.. Porco isn't responding

Reiner:
Maybe because it went so well, they're.. y'know😈

Marcel:
That's fucking disgusting💀

Pieck:
Ngl😭

Colt:
I-

Me:
We did not fuck

Reiner:
There he is

Marcel:
Don't mind Reiner. So how did it go?

Me:
Well, I thought it went really well, so I went to text her, and she gave me the wrong number. On purpose

Reiner:
BAJJFJWIXMCCJSKFIFIDKSMDXJDISODJFJDJEIEIFJRJ

Me:
...

Pieck:
Reiner-

Colt:
Oml
Reiner, aren't you single? Stfu whore

Reiner:
Colt, don't you have some alcohol to intake. Go get drunk or some shit. Fuck off

Pieck:
He can't do that. You know how much of a lightweight he is

Colt:
I don't need you to help me with Reiner

Marcel:
Fuck this gc

Me:
Nah fr

~Marcel~

Marcel:
Hey..

Me:
Hi..

Marcel:
Don't listen to Reiner. He's just being an ass

Me:
Why tf would I listen to that piece of shit?

Marcel:
You two have always hated each other😔 I wish you would get along with my friend

Me:
Your friend can suck my dick

Marcel:
💀
Okay, so how did you know it was the wrong number?

Me:
I got a text back, saying it was a wrong number

Marcel:
Are you sure she wasn't just messing with you?

Me:
I'm sure. Whoever I was texting. They'd probably be friends with Reiner. The girl I went on a date with. She was classy. Also I told the person to fuck off

Marcel:
Porco! You can't do that

Me:
I already did

Marcel:
You need to apologize

Me:
Why?

Marcel:
Because, I don't think they did anything to warrant that, did they?

Me:
...no

Marcel:
That's what I thought. Go tell them you're sorry🤨

Me:
Just because you're my big brother doesn't mean I'm gonna listen to you

Marcel:
I'll tell mom you're the one who ripped her wedding dress

Me:
AYO NONONONONONONONNO
SHE'LL BEAT MY ASS

Marcel:
Then apologize

Me:
I fucking hate you

~Unknown Number~

Me:
Sorry

Unknown number:
?

Me:
Omfg, I said sorry.. you know for being a dick

Unknown number:
Oh.. um, thanks

Me:
This is awkward asf. I'm taking my apology back

Unknown number:
WAIT WAIT WAIT
YOU CANT TAKE IT BACK

Me:
Why not?

Unknown Number:
Because we're besties now

Me:
Oh hell no, you one of those mfs

*Unknown Number has been blocked*

A/n: the next chapter is gonna be juicy😈. Also this is lowkey a crackfic