Shadow and Bone - The child of shadow and light

Chapter 3

After yet another day of misery, (which was mostly me throwing my guts up, not being able to keep anything down), Genya took me to the most 'private' space of the room the four of us shared. "Alina, there is something I've to ask you. This behavior, you being sick all the time - it's not normal" - "Genya I'm fine, I've just had really bad luck with my food, and being exhausted from work on that isn't helping my recovery."

"Just answer my question... when was the last time you had your period?" I stood there shocked and confused. What does my period have anything to do with this? "I've always had unregular periods but now that I think about it - it's been a while." "exactly how long?" "I don't know, over a month perhaps but what has my period have anything to do with this?" "Alina" she looked over her shoulder before leaning into my ear and said in a hushed tone. "Have you considered the chance that you could be pregnant?" I just stood there looking at Genya as if she had grown three heads, not knowing if I should cry or laugh. "What..." I said my voice betraying me when I tried to sound calm. "I could be mistaken but it might be best if we found a healer" she quickly added when she saw that I was about to panic.

I just nodded. I knew healers could hear a baby's heartbeat after the first month of the pregnancy but it just made me more nervous. Genya probably thought the baby was Mals (if I were pregnant). I frowned as I mentally cursed myself for my carelessness. How could I not have thought of the risk of getting pregnant? Had I had my brain in the right place, I would've remembered to take a tonic. For I knew that if I was pregnant, this child could only have one father. Alexander. Mal couldn't even be a possibility as we have never slept with each other. Saints, we haven't even done anything 'romantical' at all. Of course, we're friends. No matter what happens, we will always be, now and forever. Saints - how was I even going to raise this child? I lost my own parents when I was only a few years old and Ana Kuya wasn't really a mother figure. I'm pretty sure that even if I tried to raise the child as Ana Kuya would've, I would still mess up. If only life came with a manual.

The next day Genya and I went out to look for a healer. David and Mal had raised their brows at the fact that Genya wanted to come with me for an 'errand in town'. She walked beside me, a hood covering most of her face, and an arm looped around my own as if to make sure that I wasn't gonna run away. It was tricky but after asking a few women by the fountain we finally managed to find one. The healer was an older woman who had recently retired and helped out whenever she had the strength to. I told her that I hadn't much money to offer her but she had only smiled and said that she was more than happy to help fellow Grisha's. She made me lay down on a table before pulling up my shirt. "How long did you say you were late?" she asked as she carefully squeezed and felt my stomach. "I'm not too sure but I would guess over 6 weeks or so" she nodded before lifting her hand, summoning her powers. After what felt like forever she pulled her hands down and smiled at me. "Congratulations, you are indeed pregnant. I would say that you're about to enter the seventh week." At first, I didn't know what to say or do. But I felt a small piece of happiness in me.

"Is it possible to have an abortion ?" I asked without really thinking. Genya looked at me with both worry and horror. The healer stilled and the room fell silent. "I must warn miss that it's both illegal and dangerous to have an abortion without medical experience. But to answer your question - yes. It's possible as long as it's done before the start of the second trimester of the pregnancy" I nodded before I sat up and got down from the table. "Would you like to have an abortion miss?" the healer asked, "I can help you if that's the case, though I suggest you to, go home and sleep on it. To really think it through" I smiled and she gave me a reassuring smile back. Genya and I bid the old woman goodbye before making our way home.

After a long time of silence, Genya finally spoke. "How do you feel?" I let out a sigh as tears started to fall down my cheeks. "I don't know" She stopped and pulled me in for a hug. "It's going to be alright, whatever you decide to keep it or not, it's totally up to you." "I-I'm just worried about you Alina. Some women don't survive abortions." And for the first time, I hear Genya stutter, now understanding her reaction at the healer's house. She was worried that she would lose me. I pulled away and took her hand, holding it tightly in mine. "I'm not sure what I want - but I'm gonna do what the healer suggested, go home and think" she nodded and we continued our walk back towards the inn.

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It's been two days since the visit to the healer and I'm still trying to progress the news. A child. My and Alexander's child. Genya was the only one who knew about the baby and had promised not to tell anyone (Mal). I was scared, like what was I supposed to tell him? 'sorry for sleeping with our worst enemy because I was alone and depressed and accidentally got knocked up'? No - I don't think so. But no matter how much I tried to think of all the negative things about the baby, I just couldn't stop the part of me that was...happy. Happy to finally have a family that was my own. A family that wouldn't stab me in the back or leave me for someone else.

I put my hands on my flat stomach and couldn't stop the smile that sneaked its way onto my lips. Nor could I stop the little part of me that was happy to carry the child of the man the held my heart in his claws of shadows. "Alina?" my eyes widened as I spun around to find Mal standing behind me with a weird look on his face. "Mal" - "What are you doing?" he cut me off. His eyes wandered to my hands that were still resting on my stomach. I quickly let my hands fall to my side as I desperately tried to think of something to distract him from any suspicious thoughts. "Is something wrong Mal?" "You've been acting strange lately. I-I just wanted to talk to you. To see how you were doing" "Have I? Well, I'm sorry-I-I guess I haven't been feeling well lately?" His eyes narrowed and I could feel my palms getting sweaty.

"Alina?" Genya said, cutting Mal off just as he was about to say something. She walked up to me with a bowl filled with what looked like mud. "Alina it's time to color your hair again. The white is starting to show again" "Yes, of course" I muttered nervously and followed her to the small bathroom. "Alina" she started after closing the door -"It's not his" I blurted out, not even letting her finish her sentence. She stared at me in confusion for a moment before her eyes widened in shock and fear. I understood the shock but I couldn't help feeling hurt when I saw my best friend's eyes fill up with fear.

Fear for the man that had given her those terrible scars. The scars she was bound to bear for as long as she lived. Her eyes softened as she let out a sigh. "I had my suspicions but a small part of me hoped that I was wrong." "just-how Alina? How did this happen-did he?"-"No! No he-I" Now it was my turn to let out a sigh. "He came to see me when I was as vulnerable. I-No matter what I say will ever justify what I did or how I could let it happen" I hadn't even realized tears were falling down my eyes before Genya embraced me in a tight hug. Damn the saints and the pregnancy hormones. I wasn't the typical person that cried. Even when I was little and I got into fights, no matter how beaten up I got-I never cried.

"I've decided to keep it Genya" She looked at me and nodded "It's your body, your choice, and no matter what you would've chosen I support you. "Thank you Genya-truly. It means the world to me" She smiled "You know you need to tell him sooner or later right?" "I know. It's just-I don't think he's going to understand" "Does it matter if he understands? Alina, you need to stop thinking about what everyone else thinks. This is your life-your child" Before she could continue a huge crash was heard outside the door, starling the both of us. Genya unlocked and opened the door to reveal a wide-eyed Mal standing outside. And it was obvious. He had heard our conversation.

"Mal"-"You are pregnant?" he glared at me, eyes full of sadness and betrayal. I took a shaky breath before answering "Yes, I am" "Please say the father isn't whom I think it is" "It is"-"how could you!" he screamed at me, his eyes now full of hate as he glared at my stomach. Now I was furious. how dare he speak as if I were the one that betrayed him. "How could I" I said in a voice of deadly calmness. "How could you sleep with Zoya when you knew I had feelings for you?. How could you leave me when I needed you the most?! You may blame me for many things Mal. But not this. Not when it was you who betrayed me first." He looked at me in shock before turning on his heel, walking out of the inn room, slamming the door as he did.

A/N: Sorry for the late chapter I've been really busy with school. 

I hope you're liking it so far!! Love Elina.