Cautivadora Historia

at my worst - 1

"Tutuloy ka talaga?!" Sigaw ni Christine nang makapasok siya sa aking condo.

I'm supposed to meet Theo today, ica-cancel ko sana dahil busy ako ngayong araw pero naging maluwag ang mga prof ko kaya maaga akong nakauwi. Ilang linggo na rin kasi kaming walang communication ni Theo kaya sinabi kong magkita na lang kami para maayos 'yong problema namin, I'm used to this routine anyway.

We fight, ignore, meet each other and then make up, I wonder if he's already tired kasi ako, lumalaban pa rin kahit pagod na pagod na 'ko.

I ignored Christine and just continued fixing my things, ngunit napatigil rin ako nang hawakan niya ang braso ko. Tinignan ko siya at saka niya ako pinandilatan ng mata, wala namang mali sa ginagawa ko, inaayos ko lang naman ang relasyon namin, ah?

"Stop it, Christine, it's for us naman. Aayusin ko 'to," Ani ko dahil kagabi pa niya ako pinipigilan, "'Yon na nga, Dani! Ikaw na lang ang nag aayos sa inyo. Wake up, Dani!" Christine shouted again.

I called in Theo to ask if nasaan na siya, he then said he's already at the place kaya binilisan ko na ang pagda-drive ko. Pinaalis ko na rin si Christine sa condo ko, busy siyang tao pero laging may time para bigyan ako ng sermon. 

After a few minutes, I've arrived at the coffee shop where we used to study before.

"Hi, Dani," He greeted but I just smiled at him.

"Can we make this quick? I have an output to make pa kasi," I asked, he just nodded and sipped on his coffee.

He already ordered us a meal but I refuse to eat nor drink it, para kasi akong biglang natauhan habang nagmamaneho kanina.

"I won't make any explanation, I'm just sorry," He stated, I scoffed at his statement, it was a huge fight and then he won't give me an explanation?

"Are you really sorry? Kasi kung oo, edi sana hindi mo na pinatagal ang away natin ng halos isang buwan. Also, it's not just a little mistake, Theo, we had a fight, we cursed and hit each other then you won't explain your side?" I angrily said, I need to calm myself before I burst into anger, I need to control this. 

"You know I love you, right? If so, you don't need to doubt me," He answered like a dumbass.

"How could I not doubt you, Theo? I saw you holding your ex's waist while walking and then after you reached her car you gave her a hug and a kiss on the head, sige nga, ipaliwanag mo sa akin kung bakit hindi kita dapat pagdudahan. Do you think I'm that dumb para isipin na wala lang 'yon?" I said, kinuha ko rin ang phone ko mula sa bag ko para libangin ang sarili, kasi kung hindi ko iyon gagawin ay mapupuno lang ako ng galit dito. 

Hindi niya ako pinansin kaya tinawanan ko siya, was I right that's why I managed to shut him off?

Dahil nga hindi na siya kumikibo, I packed my things and was ready to go, wala rin naman palang kwenta, e."I'll go now. Be with Estelle, hmm? Baka kasi miss ka na niya," I sarcastically said, hindi ko na siya hinintay pang sumagot at lumabas na lang ng shop.

When I was about to get into my car I felt a hand in my arms, pag talikod ko ay nakita ko si Theo, "Get in," Ani niya at tinutukoy ang kotse niyang nasa tapat ng akin, "Why should I?" Mataray kong tanong kaya 'di na siya nakapagtimpi at hinila na lang ako.

"Fuck, stop it!" I shouted but he still didn't stop, binawi ko ang kamay ko kahit ang higpit ng pagkakahawak niya rito.

"What's the point of coming with you?! What, you're going to make peace by giving me sex? Edi putangina mo pala, kapal ng mukha mo!" I shouted again, para na 'kong sasabog sa sobrang galit.

Bumalik na ako sa kotse ko and calmed myself before driving, he can't get me by those way of making up.

This is so stupid of me pero bumaba pa ako ng kotse ko para kausapin pa rin siya, I don't know what to do anymore, we aren't healthy na at wala na nga yatang patutunguhan 'to. I knocked at his window but he signed me to just enter the car.