James and Pam were inside my apartment when I arrived. James met me first and hugged me just inside the door.
"I knew it. I knew this would happen."
"Honey. You can't jump into things. You know how it hurts you." Pam added.
I stepped from James' arms and walked into the living area, dropping my jacket and purse.
"That's not the problem there was no jump." I sat sown and covered my face.
"I don't understand." Pam sat next to me.
"It was all relaxed and casual. We'd already kissed but it wasn't serious. Things just happened."
"How can you say it 'just happened'? It's Jared Leto for fuck's sake!" James raved.
"Excuse me?!" Pam didn't know that part. "You've been showing Jared Leto around Toronto? When did this happen? No wait! This was who you met?"
"I'm sorry. I knew that you'd go crazy about it." I felt disgusted with myself.
"Pam. Focus. It's not about him." James told her.
"You're right. Sorry. What do you need? What are you thinking about?" She placed her hand over mine.
"It was just everything came back. I ran out with no explanation. He'll be so angry." I moved back, looking up at the ceiling.
"I'll take care of that." James was in protective mode.
"No! Don't! James really. He didn't make me do anything. The moment was there and he's been nothing but nice. My thoughts came back at the wrong time. I didn't want to be touched. I feel awful. Promise me you will not get angry with him. He's still a guest at your hotel."
"Fine. But if he says anything mean toward you, I'll throw him out on his ass." He sat on the other side of me.
I set my head on his shoulder. He was such a great guy.
"So. No phone calls, a bottle of wine and a bad movie?"
"Sounds good." I sighed.
"Lisa. I really have to know." Pam pushed.
I shook my head and looked over. "It was perfect. Couldn't imagine anything more wonderful."
It was true. I would feel like that all the time if I could control my memories. For the rest of the night, we drank red wine, ate take out and watched an old 80s movie. The phone rang several times but we ignored it. I thought of any explanation that I would owe Jared. He did t deserve what I did.
On Sunday, recovery from the wine, more take out and no phone. James hung around with me. The few times he did answer the phone, he was abrupt and told whoever it was that I wasn't feeling well. I'd have to go back to work Monday. That would keep me busy. I sent James away at 9 o'clock, picked out some clothes , showered and went to bed.
