It was work as usual when I walked into the office. Pam said nothing and we got right to things. I had folders stacked three high in four rows on my desk before lunch. A loud voice grabbed my attention from what I was doing. Out in the main room, I could hear someone's frantically speaking. Getting up to go check, I never made it to the door. Jared took the entire space, his arms on the frame as he stared at me. His hair was a mess, blue eyes bloodshot and a growth of beard along his jawline, looking like he hadn't slept for days.
"I didn't know what else to do. I tried to call." His voice cracked.
"Jared, I..." I saw Pam standing behind him. She looked worried.
"I thought that we had some connection. I haven't felt that way for a very long time. But then you took off. Was I just a fuck for you?!" He was upset but not angry.
"No!" I exclaimed and stepped closer, placing my hand on his cheek. "I owe you an explanation for what happened. And I'll give it to you, if you want me to."
His left hand covered mine and his eyes closed at the sensation on his skin.
"Please. I've been trying to think of what I did wrong?"
"Nothing. You were perfect. We can't talk here." I looked at Pam.
"It's okay Lisa. Do what you have to do. We'll survive." She understood that I had to leave.
"Thanks. Jared this is Pam. My friend." I introduced.
He turned, gave her a soft smile and nodded. "Nice to meet you."
She stepped over to speak quieter. "I think you're a great actor and musician. I love you but if you hurt my friend, all bets are off."
"Yes M'am." He agreed.
"Get out." She ordered.
I reached over to get my jacket from the hanger then led Jared out of the office by the hand. There was a small coffee shop two buildings away.
I bought Jared and I cups of green tea while he sat in a booth, in the corner of the shop. Sitting across for him, so I could look in his eyes as I spoke, I didn't pull away as he reached for my hand.
"Do I look as awful as I feel?" He asked trying to be funny.
"You're a little disheveled but on you it looks alright." I held his hand softly. "I am so sorry I ran out like I did."
"But why did you? That's what I don't get."
"Truth is. I'm scared. There's reasons why I work for animals and my best friend is a gay man."
"Scared? Of me?"
"No. This is so hard for me to tell you."
"Just take your time."
I took a deep breath and began my story.
"When I was young, my parents were either drunk or fighting. The only one I had to protect me from being hurt by them was my brother. He was four years older than I was. I loved him more than anything. I could talk to him about whatever and he'd listen."
"That's what older brothers do. Shannon's always there for me.
"Well. He went to high school and he changed, but I still thought he would always protect me. He turned seventeen his junior year and had lots of friends to hang out with. I wanted to be around them. They seemed so grown up. They didn't want a kid around but I bugged him. One night, because I was persistent, he told me that I could go camping with him some friends. It got late and he told me to go sleep in the tent. Some time through the night, one of his friends woke me up. He asked if I wanted to play a game with him. Said that it would be fun and I'd be able to hang out with them. I said okay only because I wanted the. To let me stay. I never felt so much pain if my life. I didn't know it was wrong. After that, all of his guys friends would come around. My brother never said a word but didn't stop them. When I started high school, there was one guy, he'd been a wrestler and very aggressive. One day, I went to school with bruise marks around my neck a broken wrist, tired and sore. My English teacher, a very nice woman around twenty six, noticed something. She kept me after class and we talked for twenty minutes. She made me understand that what had been going on wasn't a good thing. The police were called and I was taken from my home. The shock had me almost comatose. I wouldn't talk, barely ate and I'd cry for days. My teacher let me stay with her and got me counseling. I pushed all the memories away and put my energy into protecting what couldn't help themselves. The animals I help save is a part of me that was crushed. When I met James, he was a guy I could love and not have to worry about getting hurt. I haven't experienced feelings like I did with with. I was having fun And I didn't feel threatened. I felt safe. After we....a flood of memories came back. I reacted the only way I knew how and ran."
"I would ever hurt you. There's something that makes me want to be with you. I don't go after women because I've been hurt too. I always let them come after me. These last few days, I fell asleep thinking of you. I wake up and you're my first thought. It scares me to death but I really like it. Saturday when you came to my room, I wasn't working. I was trying to figure out what I was feeling. When I saw you, I relaxed and fell asleep because my nerves calmed down. I feel like I don't have to put on a show with you. It's no effort to be silly and have fun. If I'd known I would never have had sex with you. It seemed so right. The perfect expression of everything." Jared stared into my eyes
I reached out to touch his neck. The need to comfort him, hit me hard. "It was perfect. Your touch made me want to cry. When you kissed me, my world changed. I thought it would be fun to show you around, for a new memory. Jared, I want to try being with you, even just until you have to leave."
"I would like that." He moved closer. "And I'll be back in a month, when the movie starts shooting. We could see where this may be going."
"I'd like that too." I sighed.
"I would like to kiss you right now."
"Someone might take a picture of you."
"I don't care. I always follow my heart when I can it leads me to great adventure."
"So I'm going to be an adventure?" I knew that we were back to being playful.
"I really hope so." He spoke with a heavy breath.
It felt good. Knowing that I could spend time with him and he didn't want anything from me.
"So is it okay?" He asked.
"What?"
"That I kiss you?"
"Oh. If you really feel you have to."
"I really do."
His hand touched my cheek, holding me for a moment before his lips covered mine. It was a kiss that held enough emotion to make my body shake. His mouth massaged my lips, urgently trying to get closer as his tongue flicked out, to pierce my mouth. I'm sure that the moan that left me was heard by everyone in the shop.
"Jared." I pulled back reluctantly. "As good as this is, maybe we should go."
"Come back to the hotel with me?" He nuzzled my neck.
"Mmmmm. I have work."
"Just for today. Not to have sex. I would like to spend a quiet day together."
I struggled to say no. I knew that I should go back, but I wanted to be with Jared. "Tomorrow you'll have to let me work. I'm close to a solution."
"Okay. I agree to that."
"I'll call Pam and deal with James when he sees me."
"Who do you think told me where to find you?" He looked into my eyes and smiled.
"He's such a softy. He wanted to throw you out you know?"
"I can understand that."
"I told him it wasn't your fault. He knows what happened to me."
"You have good friends. Do you mind if we pick up some food? I haven't eaten since yesterday morning."
"How are you supposed to keep that chest if you fade away from hunger?"
"Think I can get that burger again?"
"I'm sure you can. Come on Cali Boy." I slid from the booth and waited for him to follow.
We took a taxi to the restaurant, ordered food to go and walked the rest of the way.
