Hisoka x Illumi Oneshots - Angst Edition

Hisoka's Backstory (Hc) - Prolouge Pt 1

MASSIVE TW!!! (p3d0ph!11!@, SA, abuse/neglect)

The day Hisoka was born is when his shitshow of a life began. His father- an alcoholic and a gambler. He had full custody over Hisoka as his mother had a preexisting criminal record that made it easy to win the court case.
He spent every day as just a showpig for his father and his gambling buddies. He would come down to their games and perform magic tricks to the drunk bunch that he spent hours practicing the night before.
Messing up a trick and 'ruining' his dad's fun with his gambling friends meant he got in trouble. He didn't like being in trouble.
It was horrible.
Being in trouble varied in severity. If he made a little mistake, he'd have to sit in a purely dark room alone for two or three days, chained to a wall, aside from when he went down to 'perform.' Some days it would be worse, physical abuse or longer days in the dark, cramped room.

When he turned only eight— things began to progress for the worse. His father- an experienced nen user, began to teach him nen as to improve his tricks. He practiced so hard every day, putting every ounce of himself into this. He wanted to be good. He wanted to feel loved.
He tried so hard and only got in more and more trouble every time his progress wasn't significant. He dealt with it.

He was twelve when it started really bad. He made his biggest mistake yet and injured himself in a trick.
His memories of that night were a blurry mess. But what he can say for sure was that night, was when he finally lost any trust he held in his father.
It started a cycle.
Every day, it felt like forever.
Days of this happening turned into weeks into months into years of his life.
His father along with his friends would sexually abuse and harass him, constantly.
He found himself in the dark room; the one he used to fear for the monsters in the dark; more and more as years passed. After all, the room was soundproofed. The dark was horrible to him, everything about it. It only reminded him of what happened so often.
It made him realize that what were once fairy tail monsters in the dark had become reality.

Twenty. That was when he finally got away. It was an accident. There had been a noise complaint which was due to Hisoka falling down a flight of stairs and plenty of yelling. The cops came and his father was arrested that day. For child abuse, nothing more or less.
The only decent memories of his childhood were those that were about the actual magic shows he performed. They were the thing that held him together and made him want to keep going. But, when his father was arrested— He suddenly quit.
The reason was undisclosed. He would never dare utter a word about it.
All that was true was that now, he had no need to be held together. Why even try?

Hisoka was seven when he first saw Illumi. He only saw him once or twice that day, but it was clear his parents had a strict eye on him.
But somehow, Illumi didn't seem sad? He seemed quiet, reserved and slightly irritable. He wanted to know why.
He only had scattered bits of free time in his life, where he'd be allowed to go to his room and actually do what he wanted. He would almost always spend that time sitting there- thinking about Illumi or trying to draw him with what he had material-wise.
It's part of the reason that when he learned nen, he made texture surprise. It allowed him to put up what illusionary posters he could to remember what Illumi looked like. He could also make said posters vanish or reappear whenever he needed.

This was something of an infatuation. He got connected because Illumi felt like the only decent person there for him— even when things were rough. Obviously, Illumi was not actually there, and Hisoka almost never saw him in person again.
However, this is why whenever he did happen to see him again, he instantly became attached to him and never left him alone.
Illumi made him feel safer and less alone. He had convinced himself they'd been friends for years, not wanting to admit that they were posters— and he didn't even know Illumi's name till their second encounter. Which was years later.
Of course, this isn't something Illumi was made aware of. None of Hisoka's life is stuff that Illumi is aware of— or knows. Nobody but him, his dad and his dad's old friends knows about what happened.