why do I even love him ( michael afton hanahaki au)

chapter 2: He doesn't love me

 Friday evening 24 march 1982 , in the aftons household

michael pov

I buried my head in my pillow and screamed..I was a blushing mess..I like my best friend..in not a friendly way and another thing about it..it's a boy! What tf will they even think of me..what will my dad think? Will he kick me out?..no he wouldn't..This will just be a secret..I lifted my head..I was looking straight at a picture of mark and me at a pool..Take a guess we were half naked..I groaned and screamed in my pillow again.. " leave me alone hot shit!/////" 

I sat up and looked at the picture..I never blushed this hard at it..I facepalmed at myself..I suddenly froze..I coughed slightly..Something was stuck in my throat..I put the picture down and started coughing..I had tears in my eyes..wtf was happening..My throat burns so much..I fell of my bed onto the ground as I coughed violently..I wrapped my hands around my throat..I tasted metal in my mouth and something soft..I coughed it out..I gasped for air..I was shaking slightly..I looked down to see wtf just came out of my mouth..I stared in horror at the bloody mess in front of me..I touched whatever was laying in the blood.. A flower petal?..But how?..I'm not stupid..I don't eat flowers..And if I did I would be sure there wouldn't be blood with it.. I still had a weird feeling in my throat..Something is wrong and ik it..I stood up..I cleaned the bloody mess and kept one petal that has less blood on it with me..

I grabbed my bag  and went out of my house locking the door behind me..If there is one place where I can find an answer on what's going on then it's the place I hate the most..The library..If someone from my school finds me there I'm fucked for the rest of the year..I started making my way towards the library..I was walking slowly..Since it was still kinda difficult to breath..My chest hurts badly..

I arrived at the library..The building was big but old looking..I opened the door and got inside..I made sure no one around my age saw me..I went up to the librarian.. The old lady looked up at me.. " how can I help you young man? "   she said in a sweet voice.. I smiled.." Where are the books about rare diseases?.." She gave me a questioning look.. " I hope that is for a school project..cause of it isn't I suggest you go see a doctor instead of going to the library.." she said.. I smiled nervously.." ofc it's for a school project.." she showed me the shelf with the books.. 

I looked through many of them..There was one book I didn't want to touch..But eventually it was the only one left that I didn't look in yet..I grabbed it.. ' love diseases' that's the name of the book.. what's that even supposed to mean..I started flipping the pages till I saw a drawing of someone coughing up flower petals..I started reading it..hanahaki disease..That's the name of it..It's caused by one sided love?!..No way..are you kidding me..It's a rare disease..You have to have bad luck to get it..I always have bad luck..I sighed ..I read for the options..So option one..I try to make my crush fall in love with me..And if he confesses to me I'm healed.. yeah right like that's going to help..Option two, I get surgery which isn't that cheap..So that wouldn't be bad..Oh wait wtf.. You won't be able to love anyone ever again..Yeah scrap that option..Option three, you don't do anything..and ..die?..wait this shit is deadly?..No..This can't be happening..haha..no..I'm not going to die right?...I felt tears in my eyes as I kept reading.. Flowers will slowly start growing inside of your lungs..Until they fill your whole chest and you choke to death.. This shit is going to be painful..I refused to read more..I put the book back on the shelf and made my way out of the library..

I was walking home as the sun was starting to set..It was quite dark already..I kicked some rocks away from my feet..While I was making my way to my house..Everything started to kick in..I have a deadly disease..Because of one sided love..One sided love..that means he doesn't love me..Mark doesn't love me and never will..Tears started to fill my eyes as I started running home..People stared at me..But I didn't care..All I cared about was being in my room right now..I noticed the purple car on our front porch.. great father is home and I have black tears from my eyeliner all over my face..Why didn't I clean my face before leaving the house...

I stood in front of the door..I slowed opened the door..I went towards the stairs on my tipy toes..But I got pulled back by my shirt..I looked at the floor so my hair would cover my face.. " michael.." I gulped.." yes father?"I didn't need to look up to know who the person is.. I could feel him staring into my soul.. " where were you? You definitely were home before.." he didn't sound happy at all.. I played with my hands.. " none of your business " I smiled..I loved messing around with dad..He groaned.. " michael.." He ticked his foot against the floor.." fine ,fine ..I went to the library.." he laughed.." good joke..Now where did you really go? " I groaned.." come on dad..don't you trust me?" He gave me a bitch me face.." No, I don't ..Now I'm not playing around anymore mike..I'm getting pissed, I just came home from work.." I glared at him.. " first of all, I'm speaking the truth..secondly, that's your problem not mine" He was getting mad.." enough go to your room- wait..have you been crying?" his voice changed tone quickly.. I turned my head around and covered my face.." what no..I'm going to my room.." I ran upstairs.. " mike! Get back here!!" I heard father yell at me.. " I did what you asked ! " I yelled back before closing my bedroom door and locking it.. 

I walked to my closet and changed into my pj's ..I went to bed..but I couldn't sleep..I had way to much on my mind..But there was only one thing on my mind.. 

He doesn't love me..And I'm going to die because of it..

creator note

this chapter was a little darker..

1060 words