why do I even love him ( michael afton hanahaki au)

Chapter 5: diary

Wednesday 29 march 1982, some street in England

michael pov

I was walking to school..It's already Wednesday..yesterday was a mess.. I was lucky enough that Evan didn't say anything about that one night..I hope he thought it was a dream..My lip still hurts since it had cuts on it..I'm surprised nobody noticed it yet.. I've been ignoring my friends, they didn't even try to talk to me..I guess they really like her..I hate her..I made my way onto the school grounds.. I looked down not looking where I was walking until I bumped into someone.. " Auw! wtf look where you're- oh..hello mike.." I looked up to see Mark.. I blushed.. " It's fine-" I felt a flower petal in my throat I gulped it down..Fuck that hurts.. He smiled at me.. fuck no don't do that..I blushed harder..I started to get tears in my eyes..I was trying my best to not cough right now.." I didn't see you in awhile how are you?" He asked..I could feel Rebecca glare at me..I ignored it.." uh-" i got interrupted by Simon " Mike! why don't you stand with us anymore?I miss you!" he said pretty loudly..I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.. " well I was kinda busy.." my voice sounded bad..I felt the flower coming up again..My friends looked at me concerned..It hurts to see that Mark didn't look that worried.." are you sick? You sound like shit..don't take it to personally.."I smiled.." Yeah I am..that's why I've been avoiding you guys" I looked at Mark.. I couldn't keep my eyes of him..I covered my mouth and coughed a bit..my eyes widened as I started running towards the bathroom..I had my backpack open while running..I didn't think something would fall out of it..I got inside as fast as I could and started coughing really bad..

Simon pov

" mike!" I yelled after my friend..he dropped something..I picked up the pastel red note book.. " oh he dropped something.." Fredrick said..I looked at the little book in my hand.." what could it be?" I asked while looking at my friends for answers.. they just shrugged..I opened it..But closed it immediately  after I read the title.. "what is it?" Mark asked.." uh- it's his diary.." I said..I held the book close.. " let me see!"Rebecca yelled.." what no!" I told her..I pushed her away.. " don't be rude Simon" Mark said while looking at me kinda pissed.." she isn't apart of this ..this is mike his diary she can't read it.. they don't even know each other!" I said kinda mad..this was none of her business..I put the diary in my bag.." I'll keep it with me and give it back to him when I see him.." Rebecca scoffed at me and rolled her eyes..why did she want to read it so badly..I swear there's something fishy about her..

... 

A few hours passed and school is over.. There is only one problem.. I couldn't find Mike anywhere.. Maybe he skipped , he used to do that a lot.. Always run away from school..I miss those times.. What happened to mike? ..But the biggest question is , is he okay?..I went home..I put my stuff away and lay the diary on my desk..I got an idea in my head..What if the answers to all my questions are inside this book.. I know it is wrong to look through his stuff..But isn't that what friends do..I sat down on my bed and opened the diary.. I read the first page.. " this is from a month ago? why is the book almost full..This doesn't sound good.." I said to myself..I read the first pages.. Everything looked fine..He seemed sad sometimes but nothing to bad..I kept reading for awhile..I noticed he makes little doodles about the stuff he writes down on the side of the pages ..I kept reading..

After a few hours it was evening..It was already dark in my room..I didn't read anything that interesting yet..I skipped a few pages until I saw some doodles of a phone and ..a pride flag?..I looked at the date.. "24 march 1982 ..that was last Friday.." I started reading..he seemed happy..this page was different I could feel it..So mark called him that day..Is it just me or is mike going to much in detail about Mark..I feel like I'm doing something horrible..I gasped slightly as I read the last sentence of the page.." mike is in love with Mark? ..I never saw that one coming..That explains why he doesn't like Rebecca..But why would he ignore us "

I was curious for the next page..I flipped it and started reading..I felt bad for him as I read the way he wrote his feelings down about Mark having a girlfriend..But then it says that he was sick..He's sick? ..I kept reading getting worried..My eyes widened.." nononono..he can't die!..why him? He never did anything wrong..I need to help him..I can't lose my friend.." I kept reading for more information..So Mark has to fall in love with him and confess to him..But he has to really have feelings..He can't do this out of pity..This is going to be difficult..But step one is confront mike about it..Step two, Rebecca has to break up with Mark..

I read the last pages..I was horrified at the last few pages..They were covered in blood and wet spots.. He sounded so hurt..he needs help..And I'm going to help him..I was determent to save my friend..

michael pov

school was absolute hell today ..I avoided my friends after what happened this morning..I went home..There was only one problem about today..Father was home early from work..Now I have to try to be quiet..I put my books away and about to grab my diary only to realize it wasn't in my bag.." where is it?"I looked around.." nonononon I can't lose it..Please..I'm fucked..What if someone finds it and reads it..I'll try to find it tomorrow.." I went to eat dinner with my family..I went to sleep..I woke up in the middle of the night to have another coughing session..It felt ten times worse since I couldn't make a noise..After creating a bloody mess I had to clean it up..I decided to take a shower..I felt dizzy..When I had new pj's on and went to my bed..I fell down on it and fell asleep immediately..I was exhausted..

My body is getting really weak..

creator note

this chapter  was a mess

1057 words